Internet dating is a controversial issue. Some people are sure that serious relations are born only from live communication, others say that the World Wide Web helps to connect the halves.
Nervous and broke toothpicks on a first date.
Kristina, 25 years old, creator, Moscow:
– We found each other by chance through a dating application. There you need to answer the questions of three people of the opposite sex, and then choose from them. Vasya offered to ride a skateboard, and it stood out so much among other pickup questions that I chose him. Our “arrows matched,” and we got access to the messages. That night we corresponded for a long time, it was very easy to communicate and we found a lot in common, so we decided to meet right the next day. The first date we still remember with laughter and say it was a terrible one. Vasya was late, but brought a bouquet of wildflowers, which I safely forgot in the cafe after the date. And no wonder: Vasya behaved very strange – nervous, broke toothpicks with his hands, and because of this uncertainty I did not like him. But he was persistent, forced to agree to a few more walks and hikes in the cinema. In the end, I gave up! I did not want to confess love – I was afraid to “jinx” feelings and relationships. But the endless flowers, surprises, romantic dinners and Vasina care convinced that we have everything for real. And so, when on Valentine’s Day instead of earrings (Vasya often gives them to me), I saw a ring in a case, then, without hesitation, replied: “Yes!
Not a man, but a real bear!
Natalia, 29 years old, wedding planner, city of Moscow. Rostov-on-Don:
– Dating sites allow to find out in the shortest possible time whether the person is interesting for possible relations. Usually I do not like to prolong the process of correspondence – I try to meet live. But with Oleg it turned out quite the opposite – he was the initiator all the time, and I supported correspondence without special interest. He immediately found me in all social networks, got my phone number. But he did not catch me at all! And one day he called me and told me that he was leaving town for a year. It turned out that Oleg was a promising basketball player, and he was invited to work under contract as a team thousands of kilometers away from his native city. And then something changed in my head… I thought: “How so? And who will besiege me with the daily attention I’m used to?” Anyway, I thought I’d meet up. When I saw it, I almost fainted: 208 cm tall, large body, not human, but a real bear. Good eyes, soft character and childish naivety – so combined the incongruous in this man. Walk him on the train, and since then our communication has not been interrupted for a minute – we are constantly in touch! Oleg did not renew the contract and returned home a few months later. We immediately began to live together. Our relationship for almost a year, now we are moving to another city and in joint plans a lot of bright events that we plan to implement. When I’m sad or hurt at heart, he takes me with his bear’s paw, holds me down and says, “Dolly, it’s going to be okay!”
In any country, I have my guide waiting for me.
Irina, 36, assistant judge, Berdsk:
– I study foreign languages: English, French and Italian. To practice pronunciation, I find myself in a network of friends who are native speakers. At some point I realized that to Skype and fly to the country – things are very different, and the second tempting much more. But there was one thing but… I am married, and I am quite happy: calmness, stability. And sometimes I want freshness, drive! My husband and I are very busy people, careerists. And not always the holidays coincide. Neither I nor he are upset about it. We’re free to rest separately without any complaints. I don’t see anything shameful about being met in any country by a “guide” interested in my person. It is pleasant to me when I pay attention: gifts, restaurants, souvenirs, walks and excursions – it is much more interesting, than to sunbathe alone. After the meeting I continue to communicate with men in a network, to some of them arrived already several times.
I meet every once in a while, but I can’t promise anyone anything.
Artem, 32, lawyer, Krasnodar:
– I have never taken Internet dating seriously. Although he married a girl from the site. Divorced, by the way, for the same reason – I did not stop dating. One day I decided to cheat. Our relationship was finally destroyed by ongoing scandals, the wife took the child and went to her mother. I stayed with my “girls from the site.” One, two, ten… I got as much attention a day as I would get from my wife in a year. The main thing is that no one complicates anything – fun, fun, erotic and fresh. Why wouldn’t it be? Every once in a while, I meet one of my “contacts”, but I never promise anything to anyone. One tried to grow from correspondence to the other half, even came here from out of town, got a job, moved a kid. But, alas, it’s already hard for me to give up this unobtrusive communication, and this relationship is as broken as marriage. I sometimes think that I’m wrong, which is impossible because of the virtual, imaginary freedom to break destinies and break relationships. But there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s a drag…
Alphonse and the philanderer, and there are dozens of Tanya on his record.
Tatiana, 29, flight attendant, Krasnoyarsk:
– Regular flights to all ends of the world do not contribute to long-term relations. I have come to terms with it. So I made acquaintances everywhere I went, and easily parted. Of course, I talked to many of my boyfriends in the network, but I could not make the decision to settle in one of the cities on the planet. But to the weirdo, who accidentally saw in a friend on a page of his friend, accidentally stuck to the soul. Night vigils with coffee in hand, when we sat looking out the window for a cup of coffee thousands of miles apart – that’s the romance that I lacked! However, when I suddenly flew to his city, which was happily reported, ordering a posh room and carefully prepared for the meeting, I heard a dry: “Sorry, I can not. I found out later from the same friend (and why didn’t I ask before?!) that he is an alphonse and a womanizer, and there are dozens of such “Tanya” in his record… Pain, resentment and disappointment are a hundredth of those feelings that I experienced. Though, according to rumors, he refused to make personal acquaintances because he believed that stewardesses were having a promiscuous sexual life.
Online dating: 15 real stories.
Balls flew out of a huge box, and there was a ring at the bottom!
Anna, 23, an economist, Bataysk:
– I’ve never got acquainted on purpose in networks, especially on dating sites. But guys were always persistent in visiting my profile. Bogdan wrote me something usual, like “how are you doing?” or “what do you do?” Didn’t give much importance to our correspondence, but it was very easy and fun to communicate, so I agreed to meet. For a couple of hours, we just drove around town in the car and chatted. He was very comfortable, it felt like we’d known each other all our lives and now we just saw each other again. And about a month and a half later, I heard his first love confession. Bogdan’s intentions were the most serious, and soon we met the parents on both sides. Two years later Bogdan proposed to me: blindfolded, brought me to a fancy restaurant and handed me a gift box with my height! I opened it – the balloons flew out, and at the bottom there was a ring. I cried and, of course, agreed! The wedding was prepared for eight months, thought over every detail. We rolled up an unreal concert for the guests, and we prepared a room for them ourselves. Two years later, just a couple of weeks ago, we decided to get married, because the feelings have already been tested and the household, fortunately, we do not eat.
For me, dating is just sex or friendship.
Elena, 28, administrator, Irkutsk:
– After breaking up with the father of my son (and he left me in the eighth month of pregnancy and never saw the child), I treat men as cautiously as possible: I do not believe in love. For me now dating is nothing more than sex or friendship. I go to dating sites, choose “victim” and directly say that I do not need flowers and romantic dinners. That I just want to hang out and enjoy myself physically. There are some people that are scared away by it. Still, men are hunters by nature, and there’s a predator. And there are those who hang out on sites with the same purpose – with them and meet without any obligation. Further relations, if they are ripe, I cut them off. By the way, sometimes there are such funny copies, which in the network talk about their sexual exploits and fantasies, and in fact are complete losers in the intimate plane. Recently it was barely possible to get rid of such a pseudo giant.
Online dating: 15 real stories.
I was in the army, my parents wouldn’t let me go.
Sergey, 25, police officer, Pyatigorsk:
– I met Natasha in social networks, she barked at some picture, I barked at her, and it went on… We talked all day long, constantly called on Skype, but, alas, could not meet. Natasha lived in Ukraine. I was 19 and she was 16. I was in the army, and her parents wouldn’t let me go on a long journey. However, we talked from a distance as if we were already a full family. We made plans, discussed budgets, children, future home… My girl managed to wait for me from the army, love did not fade. And so, when the exact date of arrival was already planned, there was a crisis and sanctions. Her arrival was postponed indefinitely, first for material reasons, and then it turned out that we are on opposite sides of the political barricade. This is how it happens when even tender and reverent love is broken because of the difference in views on life … I miss our relationship very much, persuaded us not to part for reasons beyond our control, but she remained with her opinion.
I’m going home to make his favorite cutlets…
Elena, 29, proofreader, Perm:
– I got acquainted with a young man on a dating site after a difficult relationship. It was a very painful breakup, and there was no desire to build a new life with someone at that time. Andrey immediately invited me to meet, walked around the city, talked until morning. I was inspired by the fact that we really had something to talk about! It’s a very rare thing, at least in my life. There weren’t any incredible advances. It’s quiet, it’s ordinary. I’d come to visit, treat myself to delicious food, lie on the sofa, watch movies. And so he slowly came into my life, I did not notice that we moved in together. I found out I was in love, even more so when I caught myself going home from work to cook his favorite cutlets! That’s how I, a terrible skeptic who never believed in online dating success, became a bride. The ring is already on your finger, we’re developing a strategy for the celebration!
Suddenly he says, “I’ve been sitting and I’m married.”
Anastasia, 26, accountant, St. Petersburg:
– I met a man in the network, started a relationship. Several carefree months, and suddenly he gives out: “I have to confess to you – I sat down and I’m married. He wasn’t going to get a divorce – he was acting like the perfect family man. However, he did not want to let me go either. It was like “50 shades of gray”: wildly rich, influential, has a three-storey mansion, where he brought me, in front of the bedroom, where there was a boiling passion – a prayer room, and in the basement – “red” room, where he turned me blindfolded! It was interesting… But… I didn’t agree to swing and BDSM, after which we actually broke up. And I don’t regret it at all!
Chatter about art has turned into passion.
Marina, 37, writer, Barnaul:
– I’ve been married for ten years; my son went to first grade. And then Oleg, an artist from Cyprus, burst into my world. Communication, which was originally based on discussions of art, has grown into a real passion and wild passion. One thing was embarrassing – he did not agree to go on a video call. I was lost in guessing: married? The photo wasn’t his? In places of detention? However, everything he said about himself coincided with information on the Internet. This strange story lasted more than three years with varying success, he spoke about loving me more than life, then disappeared for a few weeks. And suddenly he called me and said that he could not live without me and wanted to meet! In this joyful confusion I did not stay long: Oleg disappeared shortly after the announcement of the meeting. He ignored me, and I could neither call nor send messages. He appeared as sharply as he had disappeared: “Forgive me, Marish, I acted like a scumbag, but we have no future, forget me! You can only move to Cyprus if I get married and I’m not going to do it, I don’t want to ruin your family”. I cried for two more months, and I couldn’t calm down. I found out he had a vacation, and he’ll spend it in Russia, with his mother. I lied to my husband that I was going to the forum. I bought a ticket. And I announced that I was going to the forum. He was screaming that he wouldn’t meet me… But I lost my head and rushed to him. It was an unforgettable week! I realized that I couldn’t live without him. But the last day before he left, he told me he was married. Not only that, he hid from his wife to sneak up on me several times. My life was not over, I came home, cooking borscht, teaching my son lessons and ironing my husband’s shirts.
On Skype, we used to cook, watch movies, read books…
Yana, 28, PR, Rostov-on-Don:
– I was divorced, and my friend caught fire with the idea of finding me a prince. Filled out a form on a dating site, we wait. Standard greetings were sprinkled. Two hours later, I completely lost interest in the site, and entered it a month later to delete the page, as the notifications littered the mail. I finally decided to read the messages. One of them was knocked out of the masses. Firstly, the young man was not from Novosibirsk like me, secondly, he was very much my type. Omitting all the details, I can say that in August this year we celebrated three years from the date of acquaintance. Joint celebration of anniversaries was preceded by eight months of round-the-clock communication and daily Skype-nights… We “together” prepared, watched films, read books… And then we decided to see each other live, and at the end of the holiday (I flew to Rostov) it was decided that it was time for me to move to the south, which I did. It was the third year in Rostov, which I do not regret completely, so native was a man!
I’m going to my beloved woman, what scams can there be?
Vladimir, 43, musician, Kazan:
– I have been divorced for a long time, we live in different cities. From time to time I hang out in social networks, and one day I met a lady. We corresponded with Masha from Belarus for several months a day. Tender, mysterious, beautiful, amazing conversationalist! I made up my mind to meet her, got together for tickets. And then my friend was hesitant. Have him send me a copy of his passport. I scolded him then, saying, what’s this nonsense? I’m going to the woman I love, what kind of scams can there be? But he looked into the water. Instead of my passport I asked him to just go out on Skype, before that Masha refused: the camera broke down, the Internet is badly pulled, the guests … So it turned out that a year and a half she was lying to me, showing a photo of another girl. The Skype meeting horrified me: on the other side of the screen I saw an unattended, repulsively old lady, a married woman, too. Even about her name, she lied! I don’t know any more in the networks; under every avatar I see unwashed hair and a lot of screaming children.
He asked a strange question – how tall am I?
Margarita, 20, a student, Omsk:
– In my freshman year of university, I corresponded with a guy in social networks. I think the boy is cute and not stupid. The moment came for X – he offered to meet me. I was somehow scared; I never went on a date with a “cat in a bag”. Especially before the date, he asked a strange question – how tall am I? I was embarrassed, but I answered – 175 cm. He changed his face (the conversation was on Skype), here I suspected something wrong. And here I sit in a cafe with my back to the entrance. I hear a pleasant “hello”, I turn around, and there’s a short man with a height of 150-155 cm. The fact that I prudently did not wear heels, as you understand, the role has not played! In general, I immediately set up to complete the date as soon as possible. I refused the services of a chaperone, citing the fact that I live close. A few days later, a friend calls me and tells me that he added to her friends and began to water me with dirt, inventing some reasons why I allegedly do not fit him. Turns out he’s the one who dumped me. I’ve only known him alive since then.
I bought a ring, and she’s been talking to someone else…
Sergey, 29, businessman, volunteer, Moscow:
– I got acquainted with Julia on dating site. The relationship went smoothly into the social network, where she started to drive me. It was very annoying when Julia disappeared for weeks and then suddenly showed up. I was starting to get angry and was going to finish what I had started when she suddenly came to her senses. I am unromantic, I guess Julia lacked warmth and attention. So when I already bought the ring to propose, I caught her talking to a more romantic young man. I then fell into a frenzy, threw away the ring, said it was over … And went into all the heavy – and met live, and on dating sites, ran from one to another, but the satisfaction was the maximum physical. Well, Julia took me under siege: begged for forgiveness, sat at the doorway at night, and I turned off the phone, ignored the calls. Six months later I realized I couldn’t refuse her. I gave up, decided to try it all over again. I only strictly forbade her to use the networks. He said: I’ll see – everything! I think it’s coming to a wedding.