Dating online has become a real outlet for busy people and introverts. It’s enough to spend a few hours online and get to know a person, and then with a calm soul go on a date. But along with the simplicity of meetings came the disappointment: online partners often seemed more attractive online than in real life.
Aboutmans.com decided to find out what prevents even the most beautiful online novel from becoming real.
You keep silent on important topics
Before the meeting, you should discuss your requirements for a partner. Whether you’re looking for a short meeting or a long affair, whether you’re a healthy person or not: it’s better to find out at once about your harmful (and not only) habits, motives and the purpose of your acquaintance. Shutting down the obvious and critical points for you is a direct path to disappointment.
You are overly optimistic about your profile
During an online conversation we tend to interpret all the information from the page in favor of the interlocutor. For example, “living with parents” can be read as “saving for an apartment”, and “middle manager” as “future manager” and so on. At this stage it is important to get a grip on yourself and, no matter how much you want to dream about the beautiful, focus only on real facts.
You think through the intonations
Often it is more important how the interlocutor speaks than what he or she says. On a letter, most of the intonation is replaced by smileys, but even if they are absent, we are able to think or imagine how exactly the phrase is pronounced. And often these reflections only emotionally spin the novel in absentia. It is best to pay attention only to the actions of the person and his interest in you, and to demonstrate it can be both with and without smileys.
You do not have enough information
New people and perspectives of acquaintance serve as an excellent ground for romantic fantasies. Any number of photos in your profile and even the most detailed questionnaire do not compensate for your personal view and personal acquaintance. On this basis, it is easy to romanticize the object of your interest, and when you meet, realizing that your visa is just an ordinary person, to be disappointed. Studies show that more than half of the questionnaires contain incorrect data about a person’s height or weight.
In the questionnaire, a person often wants to seem better – as in a resume, exhibiting their achievements and hiding failures. Even if you enter the site with a position of radical honesty in everything that concerns your past and present, it does not mean that the partner has the same opinion. In addition to the above mentioned external data, a person may attribute a hobby, interest, principles or something else. In personal communication, these moments become obvious, and then acquaintance is not possible.
You put too much effort into it
Dating in real life, although it takes more courage, but it is easier: meeting in the company of mutual friends or in a cafe, you immediately see each other and usually quickly arrange a meeting. Online dating takes more effort: you need to look at a lot of profiles, chat with a few candidates – and only then it’s a date. With this backround, you have a much higher expectation of dating, which means you are more likely to be disappointed.
You’re dragging out the virtual part
Online dating has another interesting side effect: the abundance of possible candidates for the hand and heart stimulates you to look for more and more until you meet someone perfect. Real meetings with any of the possible candidates will be overshadowed by the idea that “there is greener grass”. Thus, no real person will be attractive enough, and all meetings are doomed.
On dating sites, you can find friends, decent and not very job offers, a great romance or a serious relationship if both candidates are really willing to communicate honestly and openly with each other. And what interesting stories have happened to you online?