What is jealousy and where does it come from? This feeling is inherent to every man and woman, and absolutely regardless of age, because even small children can be jealous, sometimes even in doubled numbers.
Jealousy is a special feeling that can easily occur in an empty place, it can be directed at anyone, and sometimes comes to the absurd, destroying even the strongest relationships.
In order to understand how to get rid of jealousy, it is necessary to understand the essence of this concept and what you can do with it.
Jealousy is psychological unrest, which is associated with doubts about the fidelity and love of some subject, on whom all these feelings are directed.
There are different ways to be jealous, often male and female jealousy is different, it is believed that women are jealous more often, but they are more expendable, but if such an attack befell a man, he will endure this feeling long and painful.
It’s hard to say whether it’s good or bad to be jealous, and in general, maybe it’s quite a normal feeling for a loving person, because it’s not in vain to say “jealous means loving. All this is true, the opinion on this subject is very subjective, but often strong jealousy is not good, it nags the one who is jealous, and then doubly affects the partner.
And, if at the initial stage of the relationship it can even flatter, there will come a moment when such feelings will simply start to “choke” another person, not letting him breathe free air. And, as you know, every person needs personal space and, to some extent, freedom, because love should not stifle and restrict a person from his favorite affairs and interests.
With the right arrangement of things, jealousy, of course, can also contribute to relations, even to fuel passions against the background of a temporary lull. But all this only with the right doses, as well as the right behavior, which is most often absent, due to the fact that in a fit of jealousy a person is blind and stupid.
That is, the conclusion that jealousy in small amounts is even useful, the main thing is to learn how to control their emotions and show them in the “right” time and place.
What are the reasons for this?
As sad as it may sound, but jealousy most often arises from a sense of self-confidence. Jealous has complexes that are expressed in low self-esteem, uncertainty about their own attractiveness and ability to like someone so much that no “other” can not replace you.
Another reason is the emotional dependency on the object of their adoration. A person dissolves in the other so much that he only lives it, completely forgetting about his hobbies, aspirations, and desires.
The next reason is selfishness and sense of ownership. It often happens that for a person remains a mystery, what is “love”, perceiving it as a reality, in which the partner should make you happy, without thinking at all that you should make him happy. Egoists expect to be loved only to the extent necessary for them, without thinking that a person can give exactly as much attention as his own free time allows. Few people understand that love is, to some extent, a sacrifice, because it is this feeling that makes you give yourself and your care to your loved one, there is a desire to make his life better. And jealousy is a selfish feeling.
They say that only very proud people are capable of strong jealousy. For example, such people may worry about how they will look in the eyes of others, if their partner behaves somehow “wrong”. Pride is not the worst feeling, but do not confuse it with self-esteem. The second is that every self-respecting person should have pride, but pride can only blindly overwhelm your emotions.
So, how to get rid of jealousy, if it overflows you and prevents you from building a normal relationship? After all, often jealousy can be groundless, and it torments you no less than with weighty arguments.
Who knows where you got this feeling, maybe once you were cruelly deceived, or not the most sincere relationship was going on before your eyes. It also happens that the person is guilty himself and begins to think that “everyone is like that”.
How to fight?
First of all, you need to try to understand yourself, as well as the arguments that make you feel this not the most pleasant feeling. If you understand that there is no reason to worry, then you need to fight with yourself, otherwise not one, even the most loving person will not withstand such tension.
Try to find an activity that will really distract and delight you, because when a person is busy with something, he does not have time for useless thoughts. And if the activity also brings pleasure, it will have a positive impact on your emotional mood, which will help you adjust your emotions and consciousness to the right way. It is work on yourself that will help you cope with your psychological problems, at least to a greater extent.
Talk. It is a heart-to-heart conversation that can bear fruit, try to explain yourself to your soul mate, tell about your fears and doubts. Of course, it is not always possible to achieve understanding in such conversations, but if you succeed, it will be a significant victory! If your partner really loves you and cherishes your nervous system, he will at least try to understand you and your feelings.
If jealousy really has its reasons to be, then, of course, it’s the host thing, but maybe it’s worth wondering if you need such a relationship? If a person gives him a reason to be jealous, gives him the will to act even where it is not allowed, then maybe he just does not love?
The solution to the problem
If you are “on the other side of the barricades”, that is, you feel that your partner is jealous of you almost every shadow, you can try to correct the situation. Think about it, and you do not give reason for this jealousy to occur?
Maybe a light flirting with some guy or an active friendship with some, for example, a classmate, will seem to you an innocent fact, the person who loves you may think quite differently. That’s why you need to talk, explain your complaints to your partner, and he should tell you what he is not satisfied with.
Only through mutual understanding and patience can we achieve that jealousy is gradually reduced to a level that will not prevent you from building a relationship.