How to decide on a change in life and not be afraid?
Are there ways to deal with anxiety and fear of change?
This question most often concerns people who are on the verge of change or who want to change something in their lives, but are worried. There is no answer to that question.
It is impossible to get rid of the anxiety that comes with change and risk it at the same time. If you risk something in your life to change, it does not mean that all the people around you will support you and say that you are good.
Fear is a necessary companion element to any change. And the extent of that fear is directly proportional to the significance and radicality of those changes. The more you want to change in your life, the stronger the fear will be.
If you have lived in the same conditions, worked in the same place, even though you don’t like it, the very idea that you may not work there anymore causes you great fear. If all your life you have relied on the rules that your parents or other authorities have created for you, and you want to change something about these beliefs, fear will always accompany you.
Fear is also something that naturally stops us from changing. Culture has invented this as some kind of regulatory mechanism.
If someone could guarantee that we would change activities and become a free artist, not starve to death and be successful, of course we would say yes and go for it. But then the value of change would be minimal.
You can never predict the effectiveness of your changes and the result.
Moreover, in case of significant changes, your whole environment will object. The reasons are obvious – people around you, especially close ones, are used to you like this. They don’t want you to be seen by others. They do not think about values and other aspects of your changes, they want stability for themselves. And that’s okay.
If you change jobs, your family is involved. And there’s a price for everything. On the one hand, you give up the fact that it’s painful for you and you have prospects, but no guarantees. There are many fears. So often, in order to decide on changes, you either need to reach the pen and physically feel bad, or you need significant support from outside.
If you get support and acceptance from important people even if you fail, your fear will not be less. It will become bearable.
The question is not to get rid of fear, but to balance it.
What can balance fear?
A strong passionate desire.
The faith of others in you and the ability to rely on someone. You’ll probably not be taken back from work, but your fear will be balanced by the support you get.
Moreover, if you try to get guarantees, most of your passion and desire to change something, will go into those guarantees. The value of change will not be so great. If your fear will be insignificant, you will simply not appropriate to yourself all the changes that have occurred.
Be attentive to the fear. It’s important. If you’re afraid, you want what you’re afraid of. It’s a litmus.