How to increase self-confidence?

Among human qualities, confidence holds an important position. With its help, it is easier to establish contacts with other people, to hold public speeches, to move up the career ladder, to implement plans.

However, even the confident people have periods of anxiety and uncertainty in their abilities. But they are able to cope with unpleasant feelings and even direct them in a useful direction.

In today’s article we will tell you how to learn to “include” self-confidence in everyday life and at important events – speeches, presentations, interviews.

How to show your confidence?

Imagine the image of an insecure person

As a rule, a person with his head down appears in his thoughts, compressed and avoiding visual contact. People around notice the body language, and therefore the uncertainty of such a person.

Become the opposite of him

Straighten your back, spread your shoulders, lift your eyes, keep your head straight. Look should be smooth, confident, “don’t run” with your eyes. For training the eye can look at a fixed point in the distance, and then smoothly translate the look at another fixed object.

To teach you to stand up confidently

People who are nervous move from foot to foot or stomp on their feet. Put your legs on the width of your hips, spread the weight on both legs. Balanced weight distribution will help the legs to stand still.

When you’re sitting, the legs shouldn’t shake either. Try to distribute the weight evenly between them as well.

Take up space around you

Sitting in a chair, don’t lean forward or cross your arms. Sit in an open or bossy position. Psychologists say that people who used an overbearing posture the day before the interviews felt confident.

There are three common versions of power positions of standing and sitting:

  1. Sitting on a chair, leaning back, putting your hands on the armrests.

  1. In a standing position, place your legs on the width of your shoulders and put your hands on your hips.

  1. Lean against the wall, but at the same time keep a flat posture.

Use your touches

If you need to get a man’s attention, touch his shoulder. But you have to consider the degree of familiarity with the person and the environment. At a formal event with unfamiliar person better do without such touches. At a noisy party among friends and acquaintances can use the touch.

Touching should be easy and neat. Strong pressure can be considered as a manifestation of domination.

Hand posture in a confident position

People who want to show self-confidence keep the front part of the body open – do not close themselves off from others. You can put your hands behind your back or behind your head. In an informal setting, you can put your hands in your pockets so that your thumbs remain visible.

Gesticulation control

Gestures must be used appropriately and with caution. Excessive gesticulation may be perceived as anxiety or uneducated. Gestures should be restrained, appropriate and rare. Hands should be kept at thigh level and gesticulated at the same level. Palms should be kept open and relaxed.

Social interaction

Visual contact

During the conversation, you should maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to. In this way, confidence, interest and respect for the interlocutor is demonstrated. Bad tone during the conversation to be distracted by the smartphone, look at the interior or lower your eyes.

Strong handshake

A firm shake of hand makes its owner confident. In this case, a handshake should not cause discomfort, let alone pain. If your palms often sweat, you can carry dry wipes. A sluggish handshake is considered a sign of weakness in society.

Slow and clear speech…

You should speak clearly and at a moderate pace. If the words are distorted and the diction worsens during rapid speech, you should slow down. Give yourself a few seconds to plan the answer and let it be clear and with good pronunciation.


A smiling person seems more positive and friendly. Experts believe that people better remember people who smile.

No need to apologize often and in vain

A man who often apologizes for trifles looks insecure. There’s no need to be afraid to hurt someone if the phrase can be translated as a joke.

Respect for other people

Showing respect for other people is a sign that you value them and are positive. Avoid involvement in intrigues and scandals, don’t gossip. Okay, you’re gonna show your personal qualities on the good side.

Improve your social skills

Go to meetings and parties more often, socialize with other people. Of course, you don’t have to meet the first person you meet. But even one well-coordinated dialogue during an event can be considered a success.

Confident Lifestyle

Maintain good physical and mental health

It’s important to remember to keep yourself in shape. A psychologically calm and healthy person makes a positive impression on others. In addition, appearance forms the first impression.

Do not lower your self-esteem

If a person behaves confidently, he will look confident. It is important to value yourself and not to lower your self-esteem. If there are problems with self-esteem, you can make a list of your achievements as well as plans for the future. Reread them when you feel that your self-esteem is starting to fall.

It is also important to understand that fear interferes with rational thinking and has a bad effect on your mental state. Do not be panicky about making a mistake. No mistake is made by someone who does nothing.

Positive mood

Confidence may be lacking because of a pessimistic mood or a negative experience in the past. You don’t have to dwell on the bad. What happened is gone. Make the right conclusions, correct mistakes, believe in yourself and move forward with renewed strength.

Ask yourself questions that increase confidence…

When you don’t have enough confidence, ask yourself motivational questions, for example: “What do I have that other people don’t have?”, “What qualities make me a pleasant companion and a useful person to society?”, “What can I do to become better?”.

Deal with your fears

Don’t let your fears go

People who are unsure of themselves are often afraid to take the wrong step or interfere with someone. When fear begins to overcome, psychologists advise to breathe with the help of the stomach. This method is often used in yoga to relieve stress and find peace of mind.

It is important to understand that fear destroys confidence in yourself.

Of course, many people are worried that they are making or have made the wrong choice. But if that fear is so strong that it spoils everyday life, change is needed. Don’t let fear destroy confidence in your abilities.

Appreciate the fear

Analyze what gives you fear: mobilization and focus or hindrances to achieving your goals. Give yourself answers to these questions:

  1. What exactly scares me?

  1. How sure am I that something bad will happen?

  1. What’s the worst and best course of action?

  1. How can the event affect the further life?

The answers will help to conclude what role fear plays in your life.

Use the technique of deep breathing.

During excitement or fear, take deep breaths into your stomach (we talked about this above). Diaphragmatic breathing helps to calm down and relax. You can find the right yoga techniques and do them several times a week.


In addition to yoga, you can also practice meditation. It will help you to relax and believe in your strength on the eve of an exciting event. In addition, meditation brings back peace of mind and control over the situation.

Self-confidence is an important part of the balance of mind, peace of mind and improved social contacts. To improve it, you need to practice, and then the positive result will not be long awaited.