The union of a man and a woman is a beautiful thing, and there is even an opinion that marriages are made in heaven. A relationship beautifully begins with a bright and enchanting feeling of falling in love, hormones go off the scale, emotions avalanche waterfall over everything in their path, and two people in love sway on the waves of a beautiful and strong feeling…
All this is falling in love. Its time period is very limited, otherwise the physical organism of man, stormed by strong hormones, by their effect equal to drugs, would be severely worn out and cease to exist. Falling in love allows a man and a woman to understand how expensive their partner is, how comfortable, convenient and safe it is to build a strong family and a reliable rear. So, the bright feeling of falling in love is over, the hormonal surge subsided, the partners calmed down, soberly and with a cool head were face to face … What next? And then there are only two basic options. There are, of course, and intermediate, tentative, so to speak, but we will not consider them.
The main variants of the development of events when love has passed
1. A bright, crazy infatuation that has turned the heads of the partners of both sexes has transformed into a deep, mature, true love, which will lead to marriage in the registry office, and possibly marriage in church (it depends on the degree of churching of the future spouses). Partners who marry may live a long and happy life together, bear children and wait for grandchildren. And then they may die on the same day. That’s how it works. And it happens and not so, but that is another topic, which we will consider another time.
2.Love is gone, and in its place there is an emptiness. This happens, unfortunately or fortunately, quite often. It is good if the couple did not have time to officially register the relationship and have children, otherwise the breakup will also painfully affect the child, who will most likely be deprived of everyday communication with the father (because in our country the state is on the side of “moms”). Today we will look at the case where the “family” did not have time to officially register the relationship and have children, and the relationship between a guy and a girl had the status of “cohabitation”. By the way, it is surprising that many people are offended by the word “cohabitation,” but cohabitating without legally registering the relationship is somehow not considered offensive. It’s a paradox, isn’t it?
As a rule, girls can wait for years to be asked to marry, but never wait, and then blame the man for giving him the best years of her life! Sometimes you want to ask a young lady like that – did that same unfit man who left her after all those years of cohabitation even ask her to do that? To give him those years of her life? And the second question – she “gave him those years”, and she lived and suffered, it turns out, chained to the radiator, apparently so? Let’s not talk about girls, let’s talk about men. So, you’ve fallen out of love with her, but you don’t dare tell her. And, waking up every day in bed with someone you don’t love, you want to leave home and never go back while she’s there. For, girls are very sensitive to when they have ceased to be the object of adoration of their beau, and very much begin to worry about this. You have to agree, and with absolutely good reason.
She loves you, and she is not ready for this turn of events. On this occasion, she begins to apply everything that, in her opinion, can save the relationship: crying, resentment, begging for affection, asking for forgiveness, arranging a showdown, threatening suicide, trying to get pregnant quickly, begins to involve relatives and friends in this story, so they “straighten your mind,” and you began to love her again as before. What else can she do? So she tries all the options, and see if anything goes wrong.
What do you feel at this point… Of course, you assumed that she would make not one “Plan Barbarossa,” but a whole sequential series of such plans with various “layouts” and feminine tricks. You begin to be wildly irritated by these plans and to feel hatred in your soul, interspersed with unbearable pity for her and a soul-crushing sense of guilt. You remember the moments in which you were both happy just a short time ago, and you realize that you feel nothing for her anymore. She’s trying to figure out what happened, looking for evidence of your infidelity, setting up surveillance on you, and you’re starting to freak out about it all, and you want to run away from her. But none of that is a good option. She goes crazy, destroying herself in tears, tantrums and pleas, you go crazy too, not knowing how to tell her that there is nothing more between you…
What to do?
1. Try to understand yourself and evaluate what happened in your soul, that a once beloved person ceased to mean something to you in this world? It’s one thing if you have another girl, it’s another thing if you’re just confused about your feelings. Remember, if the reason for your cooling to her was another girl, your “first” chosen one should never find out about it! Especially not to tell her about it now. In addition to the great heartache in her heart, her self-esteem will fall below the plinth, putting her on her knees, from which it will be even harder to get up. By doing this you will destroy her completely, wipe your feet on her soul, put a knife in her heart and twist it. So you should never do that, at least in memory of those bright and kind moments spent together with her.
2. Imagine her in the arms of another man. Feel that the object of her adoration is no longer you, and she caresses gently in bed now another. The end of your imagination will be her vivid orgasms, which gives her another, and she sweetly moans under him or screams loudly… Don’t you care? Are you sure? Do you really don’t care about her, or do those thoughts hurt you?
3. Let her know that you’re confused about your feelings and want to take time out and live apart. Explain to her that it would be good for both of you and allow you to test your feelings. If, however, after figuring it out, you realize that you don’t love her, the separation will play in your favor.
4. If you realize that your relationship can’t be saved no matter what, you still have to have a serious conversation, you have to let her know that it’s not going to work out. Be reasonable and have the dignity not to tell her that she is bad in bed, that she is a terrible cook and that you were disgusted with her.
Thank her for those happy moments of happiness, which she gave you. By the way, do not dare to list them to her, otherwise, a woman’s psyche, shaken by recent events, will not withstand such torture, and your memories will cause her an endless stream of tears. Tell her that she will definitely meet a guy who will make her happy. Let her know that you’re not ready for married life yet, and you’re not right for her. And in general, as a man with dignity, you just do not have the right to tuck a good girl second-rate, she will find a guy better than you! So tell her that. And don’t forget to help her in the beginning, like a real gentleman. After all, breaking up doesn’t mean we become enemies! Separation is always painful, for everyone. After all, love dies, relationships die. And the death of something or someone is always painful and sad, but by competent actions you can minimize this pain, and perhaps very soon the gentle sun will rise on your and her horizon, which will warm the wounded souls and give you a new love that will warm the broken hearts!