SO, LET’S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE FIRST OPTION OF DATING. YOU SEE THE GIRL, YOU LIKE HER, YOU WANT TO MEET HER.
THERE ARE TWO FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT TYPES OF DATING:
Option «A» — you like the girl, but she doesn’t care about you yet.
Option «B» — you and the girl like each other.
There is also, in principle, and option «C» — when the girl likes you, but you do not care about her (in this case, of course, do not have to strain. She comes up to you, and you decide what to do with her).
YOU LIKE THE GIRL
So, let’s take a closer look at the first option of acquaintance. You see the girl, you like her, you want to meet her. She either doesn’t see you yet or she sees you, but she doesn’t see you as a sexual object. If she can’t see you, try to show yourself to her before you start any interaction. She may even be interested in you and you can safely go to plan «B.»
How do you show yourself? Don’t start something yelling at your friend, burp loudly or fall into a puddle. There’s an old tried-and-tested way to do that is to look straight in the eye with a smile. Not with an idiotic smile to the ears, though this option can work too, sometimes, but with a calm friendly smile that expresses sympathy. Try to catch her eye and hold it for a few seconds.
Smile, show sympathy and interest, and calmly track the reaction. You can do something heroic, unusual and original to attract attention if the situation gives you the opportunity. Just don’t make a superhero out of yourself and do something to show off. It has to be simple and natural, like a walk.
«Believe me, you’ll be noticed and appreciated without a fuss.»
And if you do it right, and you see what you’re interested in, you’re on your way to plan «B.» If you can’t get a girl to notice you before you decide to approach her, or if you can, but you don’t see any signs of interest in you, then you have nothing left to do but go on with plan «A».
Plan «A» is that you have to rip her templates, make some original improvisations, think up some questions and requests in order to concentrate on yourself, get interested and get a date or a phone number. But we are now more interested in option «B».
YOU AND THE GIRL LIKE EACH OTHER
What is one of our very frequent mistakes? It’s that we don’t know how to recognize this very option «B» in time, continuing to walk stupidly on a long winding road instead of a straight and short one. And we don’t understand a very simple thing — when we deal with the situation «we like and are interesting to each other», then actually it all comes down to «madam, let me give you a taste?»
You just have to find the courage to take the girl by the hand and get her to bed as quickly as possible. That way may take five minutes or a couple of dates, but it’ll be simple and inconceivable if you don’t overthink it yourself. For the simple reason that you don’t have to shirk at all about trying to be liked and interested. You’re already liked and interested.
All you have to do is not spoil your impression of yourself and realize in time that you can safely go to bed. Until then, all you have to do is stay calm and be yourself. The way she likes you. And don’t guess about «loves, doesn’t love.» She already likes you.
Take it a priori and don’t doubt it until you see something going wrong. And if you see that you’ve stumbled across something like that, don’t write it up. It all comes down to «Hello! What’s your name? I like you. Let’s go get some coffee» or «Hi! What’s your name? I like you. Give me your number, I’ll be sure to call you.»
I see an interesting girl at one of the computer seminars. She sees me, I see that she’s interested in me. At halftime, the next dialogue:
— What firm are you from?
— I’m from a firm like this.
— Hmm. I’ve never heard of it. Do you have a business card?
— Oh, not with me.
— Dictate the phone. What’s your name, by the way?
-Maria. Write it down. (cell phone rings)
— If I call you, will I call you for coffee?
— Sure, if not during business hours.
I smile, give her my card, say goodbye, go. That’s it! In option «A», you’re doing some kind of circus to like it and get a phone number at the end. She already likes you here, and you can safely start at the end. None of you have to explain why and why, why she has to drink coffee with you, or you will call her. You both want that, and there’s no need to make up any excuses.
If she suddenly wants to have some excuse, the best option would be something like «we’ll see the sunset» or «we’ll transfer the old ladies across the street». You don’t have to stew and write something very complicated — she just needed to give the situation some decent context in terms of public morality stuck in her head. Smile, write something nice, stupid, and everything will be fine. And don’t tell her «let’s make love» or, more importantly, «let’s fuck». In the vast majority of cases, you’re gonna hurt her to the core. And it is clear to her and to you that you will make love sooner or later, everyone in their own understanding, but it is not necessary to verbalize. Sometimes it can be done, but I cannot imagine situations where it would be necessary.
TAKE MY HAND, AND GO TO BED
Why am I even writing about this? Because very often and very often we do not see the «B» variant in front of us, or are afraid that it is not him, and it can cause brakes, insecurity and other unnecessary cockroaches. And the recipe here is as follows: if you think that you got into the option with mutual sympathy, do not think about whether you understand everything correctly and doubt. Just know that this is the option.
Even if you make a mistake (and it’s harder to make a mistake than it looks), you’re in no danger. You’ve started a conversation anyway and you’ve got nothing to lose. If you’re not mistaken, you’ll be fine. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong, so what now? Just think about it…
«Everybody wants to be cool and learn how to do it: come up, take his hand, take him to bed.»
Not everybody believes that this happens, and when someone says they do it all the time, it’s often seen as a fairy tale. So, in order to become a hero of these absolutely true fairy tales, you just have to learn to take what they want to give us, without making any extra whistling around this case.
Yes, we know how to make a couple of dates girl began to feel genuine interest in us, which in the third or fourth leads her right under our blanket. But if we see that what is supposed to do on these first dates, already done by itself, you can safely go directly or almost immediately to the bed scene.
«Take what they give you and don’t ask why they give you.»
If the girl will be interesting not only outside, but also inside, the time to talk to her on okolosyascheskie themes will still be, if not — well, she will not be lucky. But if you see that she is already ready to give you what you need, you do not have to follow the standard template, taking extra steps and spending resources on it. Giving for what you are, most of the time.
Imagine the situation: you have a bed with a girl waiting for you there, burning with impatience, and you stop at her edge and start for two hours aloud to tell her how happy she will be if you now make love to her. Probably after a while the girl’s wish will fall off, she’ll get dressed, spit on the doorstep and go home so she never comes back.
That’s pretty much what we have in option «B». As soon as you get there, the clock starts ticking, and you have to get what you’re due in a much shorter time than when you met under the «A» scheme. That’s where beginners’ problems come from.
The time allowed to translate the relationship into a horizontal plane, has one property — it is limited. Just like a girl who initially has little interest in you, you can scare, furiously dragged into bed on the second date, and all this spoil, you can ruin the situation with a strong mutual interest, if you do not make a persistent attempt to put the girl under you for the first three meetings. Her first interest goes out, and you get nothing.
SYNC & CORRECTIONS BY
The more initial interest on her part, the less any excuse is needed to come up and meet her. What’s more, she doesn’t need it at all.
After such acquaintance, you are not what you can, but MUST go to bed with her on the second or third date at most. Time is running out here, and you have to remember that.
AND NEVER SLOW DOWN!