Time never stops, but only runs fast forward. Before you know it, you’re an adult, and you’re an adult. What do you do when the good old days are over and you start to grow up and grow old? “The only thing that saddens me in this world is to grow up.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery In your heart you’re 18 years old and you’ve just started to live for real. But all your friends have already got families and serious jobs. Classmates already have a few children and second husbands. There are more and more young people around who call you by your patronymic. You remember the midlife crisis, and the youth film “American Pie” was released 20 years ago. You think more and more of yourself, not only as an adult, but as an old man.
How do you know that you’re old and old?
111 signs of age
1. At six in the morning, you get up, not just go to bed.
2. You go to the pharmacy for medicine, not condoms or a pregnancy test.
3. You’re saying “I don’t drink” more and more instead of a toast to women.
4. New music is full of shit, like all young stars.
5. You’re avoiding noisy company and cool parties. You’re avoiding noisy company and cool parties.
6. You’ve got a lot of food in your fridge, but no beer at all.
7. You’re the neighbor who calls the police if the neighbors make noises after 11:00 pm.
8. It’s been a long time since anything’s been shot in a movie. It’s all full of nonsense and a hat.
9. You think it’s time you went home when the party’s in full swing.
10. Friends are getting married and divorced now, instead of just dating and breaking up.
11. Today’s youth idols make you sick.
12. You’re sure it’s never been this nonsense before. You’re sure it’s never been this kind of nonsense before.
13. You think it’s stupid to go out all the time, have fun and drink. What is wrong with you?
14. All your classmates and classmates are in their 20s.
15. You’re often referred to as “you”, which is definitely annoying.
16. Sleeping, not in bed, leads to back pain and a wrinkled look.
17. You start cleaning houses for order, not waiting for guests.
18. Everyone you know starts having planned babies.
19. You can’t drink as much as you used to. 20. After a bad meal, your stomach hurts, not your saturation.
21. You don’t drink at home before you go to the club.
22. Now, if you’re sitting at the computer, you really work, not play. Now, if you’re sitting at the computer, you’re really working, not playing.
23. All the stars and athletes are younger than you.
24. You have money, but you don’t want to spend it on stupid things you used to.
25. Your friends aren’t getting married on the plane. It’s just time.
26. You always prefer to sit than stand. And you’d rather lie down than sit.
27. Before you get involved in an adventure, you’ll think 10 times and avoid it.
28. Without a winter hat, you feel like a jerk, not a cool guy.
29. Holidays aren’t three months anymore, but 30 days is a good time.
30. You’ve deleted almost all their social networks.
31. Cheap alcohol and beer on stock is not cool booze and alcohol.
32. When you’re having a party and partying at home, the neighbors don’t even hear it. When you’re having a party and partying at home, the neighbors can’t even hear it.
33. All the young people are complete jerks.
34. Friends got married and don’t go out without the other half anymore.
35. You look bad in the morning, though you slept long and didn’t drink yesterday. Used to look fresher after drunkenness than now on a normal morning.
36. Wrinkles indicate where you used to smile.
37. You’ve got your first gray hair. You’re pulling it out. Then there’s more, there’s more.
38. You call the traffic cops on people who park like idiots.
39. Birthday doesn’t bring joy now, it just gets on your nerves when you feel your age.
40. You regularly correct other people’s grammar mistakes.
41. You’re embarrassed in front of people with your film and music habits. They make you look like an old man.
42. You lie down till 12:00 at night and get up early.
43. All your best friends are gone somewhere.
44. Nobody’s playing any of your computer games, they’re old.
45. The best rest for you is lying on the couch, not walking around in the middle of nowhere.
46. You’re starting to get sick for no reason at all.
47. Girls younger than you automatically think you’re pretty. Girls younger than you automatically think you’re pretty.
48. Now you’ve got your favorite grocery store, not your favorite bar.
49. You’ve got fewer and fewer of your real teeth.
50. Now you’re subpoenaing, instead of going out to talk.
51. All reactions are slower, and you’re confusing people’s names.
52. Suddenly you realize you’ve seen worse. By the way, where are my glasses?
53. You’ve been recovering from a good drink for a week. You’ve been regaining consciousness for a week after a good drink.
54. Friends and family are getting smaller and smaller.
55. You pay your bills out of habit, not because you’re disconnected, the lights or the internet.
56. You used to have scary dreams, but now you have scary reality.
57. You don’t rely on your parents anymore. Now you have to do everything yourself and help them retire.
58. All your favorite shows and shows have long since ceased to exist.
59. You eat breakfast, lunch and dinner on time.
60. Sex doesn’t seem so great compared to sleep anymore.
61. Your friends were in online games and social networks years ago.
62. You’re ruining the company with a sour face in the middle of a young man.
63. You understand your parents better.
64. All your favorite music and movies are on retro channels.
65. You’re laughing at the stupidity of young people and their misunderstanding of life. You’ll be ridiculed by the stupidity of young people and their misunderstanding of life.
66. Increasingly, you are living with memories, not hopes for the future.
67. You get unplanned baldness on your head, which makes you angry.
68. You don’t understand modern jokes and humor.
69. You’re worried about your health, and going to the doctor is no longer limited to venereology.
70. You start to forget the obvious things, like they’re slipping out of your mind.
71. Wrinkles are traitorous on your face.
72. You know a lot of things that haven’t been used in a long time.
73. There are very few wishes and dreams left. There are more and more responsibilities now.
74. You’re not invited to the holidays by your best friends.
75. When young people talk, you don’t understand half the words.
76. Someone gave you your first seat on the bus.
77. Now you’re not surprised at all.
78. You’re not choosing a beard because it makes you an adult. The beard hides your wrinkles and old age.
79. Most people around you are younger than you. It’s like the world is getting younger. Most of the people around you are younger than you. It’s like the world’s getting younger.
80. More and more often in all the conversations you talk about children.
81. When you meet old friends, you feel an awkward silence. You no longer have themes in common.
82. You don’t ask for money in debt, you ask for it.
83. You used to meet friends with 15 people each. Now it’s good to have 2 or 3 friends together.
84. All your idols and legends are almost dead.
85. Your favorite sites no longer exist or have drastically changed.
86. Now you can’t come to your friend’s anymore and stay with him.
87. Holidays, New Year’s and Christmas don’t bring joy. Holidays, New Year’s Eve and Christmas don’t bring joy.
88. You’re thinking of starting to write a memoir.
89. You’ve got things that bring back memories.
90. Things used to be better: the grass is greener, the sky is blue and the sun is brighter.
91. You remember times when people weren’t jerks.
92. You don’t understand why Disney starts making such tolerant, stupid, twisted cartoons.
93. You’re very afraid for the health of your loved ones.
94. Now you can’t just drop everything to hell and hitchhike at sea. You’ve got a million responsibilities.
95. You’re not going to the grandparents’ house anymore.
96. New technology is developing so fast, you can’t keep up with it.
97. New remakes of movies don’t make you happy, they make you sad.
98. You’re giving up your activities in favor of rest. You’re giving up active time in favor of rest.
99. First you are treated like an older person, and then you agree with their opinion.
100. Your old acquaintances are very old when you meet them many years later.
101. You start dreaming about retirement to get some rest.
102. You have sex more often in bed and at home than in the car, outdoors and elsewhere.
103. You have a desire to look younger.
104. Now you’re getting less and less written by your friends and more and more by your colleagues.
105. You’ll be confused by the illusions and naivety of young people. You’ll be mixed up with the illusions and naivety of young people.
106. You prefer comfort to risk and adventure more and more.
107. You want to share your life experience with others.
108. In “Interstellar,” there’s this good and accurate phrase: “We’re here to become memories of our children.” You agree with her.
109. Now you think sport and exercise is a good habit.
110. In a relationship, you value more loyalty and love than looks and beauty.
111. You start to realize that it’s not money that counts, it’s something else. You start to realize that it’s not money that counts, it’s something else. “Some die at seventeen and postpone the funeral until they’re seventy-seven. I see a lot of dead youth and a lot of living old people.” Bono Who were you, what have you achieved, how close to fulfilling your wishes? Dangerous questions to yourself? Depressing and thirsty? But don’t be sad. You’ve got plenty of time. For what exactly? For your dreams that you haven’t realized yet. Goals that you haven’t achieved. Thoughts that I haven’t had time to make. The places I haven’t had time to visit. Hobbies I haven’t tried yet. What have you got to lose when much of your life is behind you? Life is given once. But it’s a chance to make the most of it.