A lot of people being happy doesn’t allow the habit of justifying everything. Remove your misguided self-limiting beliefs and be successful right now! It is better not to look for any excuse than to find a bad one. George Washington, do you think there is something that prevents you from being happy? You’re not sure exactly what it is, but very often it turns out that you say no, even though you actually say yes. You give up on great opportunities, even though you know you have to grab them with both hands. You try not to notice how your brightest dreams wither away, thrown aside. Over the years, you may even unknowingly adopted some serious self-limiting beliefs that are slowly killing all your efforts to grow and develop. If you listen carefully to your inner monologue, these beliefs will manifest themselves as excuses. You need to catch yourself on these excuses and replace them with positive attitudes
Here are 25 ideas to start with:
1. “It’s too late for me.” As you grow up, you see people going through certain stages. They graduate from university, build a career, make money, get married, have children. It makes you feel that you also have to go through certain stages by a certain age. And if you move forward more slowly than others, this limiting belief holds you back from wanting what you really want NOW. The positive attitude is, “This is a great time to start.” – Overcome this unfounded hidden belief that certain things must be done by a certain age. The point is that life is a series of events that build on your actions at each particular moment. And these events can happen in your life in any sequence and in any order you want. Age has nothing to do with that.
2. “I don’t have time.” Everybody only has 24 hours a day like you. Why do some people manage to spend these 24 hours differently? The positive attitude is, “I have to manage my time properly.” – Control exactly how you use your time. Be ruthless and refuse anything that devours your time aimlessly. If necessary, make schedules, prioritize and delegate work and authority to others. Focus on the quality of what you do, not on quantity.
3. “I’m too simple and boring” Boring or interesting is just a matter of choice and preference. Each of us is given a scene and props. But everyone chooses for himself how to interpret and play a role in the history of his life. Positive attitude: “I am responsible for how my story will be written”. – Stop being boring. Determine what “interesting” means to you, and every time you think you are too boring, do something that will bring you closer to your understanding of what is interesting.
4. “I don’t deserve this.” There are two versions of that belief. The first makes you think you’re unworthy of something beautiful, like love, respect, luck. And the second makes you think that the difficulties of life are not fair to you. Anyway, this belief ties you together and keeps you from getting out. Positive attitude: “I have so many great opportunities” – When you ask yourself the question “why me?”, you better ask “why not me?”. Remember that on the scale of the universe, you’re just like the others. Neither nature nor God has favourites or injustices. So take it easy to accept both the good and the bad that falls to you.
5. “This usually happens to parents, especially parents of small children – I know what I’m talking about, I bring this excuse myself all the time! But as long as you don’t take care of yourself, as long as you don’t pay attention to your life, you’re not doing anyone any good. Positive attitude: “My needs matter.” – Take time out for yourself to sleep, eat right, exercise and rest. It’s not selfishness, just a higher level of care. When you are in good shape, you can give more to others.
6. “Nobody understands me.” Everyone has their own problems to think about, everyone’s busy. At the end of the day, no one has the strength or time to try to understand another person. If understanding someone is really important to you, just communicate with that person and make your communication as easy as possible for them. The positive attitude is, “I need to have a clear dialogue and do the same. – Stop playing games. Just say what you have to say and do what you have to do. And understand that not everyone will understand you and agree with you.
7. “Nobody cares what I care about.” Can you imagine what would happen if everyone who does something good did? We would never have charity organizations, economical cars, important discoveries in medicine, peacekeeping, literacy promotion! Positive attitude: “I’m worried about it because it’s important”. – Defend your point of view. If you are worried about something, even something very personal, take it up close and help others understand why you are so worried.
8. “I’m not smart enough.” It starts so easy. You try to do something and you don’t succeed. And you think, “I’m so stupid!” Unfortunately, after years of repeating those words many times, that statement begins to become true. The positive attitude is, “This is a good time to practice.” – When you corner yourself, belittling your own mental abilities, stop. Identify exactly what makes you feel stupid and take some time and effort to figure out how things can be improved. Become self-confident! Start small, figure out how to perfect the next small step. The more you learn and the more obstacles you overcome, the more confidence you will feel.
9. “It’s my parents’ fault for the way my life turned out.” The statute of limitations on that claim should expire sometime. Yes, your parents are responsible for helping you start living. But as you grow older, the responsibility for your life, your decisions and actions become yours. The positive attitude is, “I’m the one in control of my life now.” – Make informed choices and let your past make you better, not be a source of resentment. You can’t go back and change your education. But you can start changing your future life right now.
10. “I lack perseverance and determination.” Can you remember why you think that? You probably forced yourself to do something that you didn’t like, and as a result you failed. And after a while, you started to believe that you lacked something to be persistent. The positive attitude is, “I just need to find out how I can motivate myself to do this job. – Instead of forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, try to fool yourself. Make the necessary perseverance automatic, turning it into a habit. Research constantly confirms that willpower is limited and unlimited for everyone, not just for you. Those lucky people who manage to stay persistent have just found a way to replace the brutal method of violence against themselves with more effective habits.
11. “I’m not cut out for a long-term relationship.” A lot of people resort to that excuse. Maybe you’re afraid of making yourself vulnerable or losing control of your life. Maybe you’re questioning your ability to stay loyal. Or maybe you have obsessive fears of cheating. It makes sense, everyone has these fears in one way or another. So ask yourself: “Do I really turn these fears into an excuse instead of facing them?” The positive attitude is, “I have fears of relationships that I have to overcome.” – Accept the fact that you are afraid and worried. Understand that the same thing happens to almost everyone. Decide to be strong and deal with your fears instead of running away from them. As with other areas of life, in love and relationships, some of us must practice and invest more effort than others.
12. “This is not a good time.” You’re busy, aren’t you? You just got a promotion and you don’t want to take your mind off your career? Or maybe you just got out of a difficult relationship? Love, like everything else in life, happens when it happens – life won’t test whether it’s convenient for you and whether you’re ready to seize a new opportunity. Accept it or miss your chance. Positive attitude: “This is a good time.” – Imagine you’re old… really old, and you’re ready to move on. Will you be happy that you once missed an opportunity that you’re missing now? Remember that new opportunities make you develop and stretch up, so at the beginning you will never feel completely comfortable, so you will never feel like now is the right time to act.
13. “Too much work.” Love, dreams fulfilled and small victories. All this is beautiful and adds joy, happiness and brightness to our existence. Why does it have to be easy? Why does all this have to fall from the sky for you? Why do you expect an easy result without hard work? Positive attitude: “I’m ready to do this job.” – Remember that everything that is worthy of possession is worthy of hard work. Make an effort, and you will reap the results for a long time.
14. “What if he turns out to be the same (as someone who hurt you)?” There are no two people who are exactly the same. Besides, you’ve changed since you had this relationship, too. Just because someone you once knew turned out to be a bad person doesn’t mean that any other person you meet will be the same. The positive attitude is, “I won’t judge anyone based on the behavior of another person.” – Do not lose your mind, but be reasonable. If you understand that you are punishing people from your present for what people have or have not done from your past, stop. If you understand that your new partner or friend is making the same mistakes, gently push him in the right direction. Stay in the present, and let the judgment of reality guide you.
15. “I’m doing this (something I hate) because I don’t want to hurt (someone I care about).” A relationship should empower you, not make you a victim. Do not use it as an excuse to continue doing something that makes you uncomfortable (or prevents you from doing what you really need to do). A positive attitude: “Now is a good time to apologize, talk frankly, and sit down at the negotiating table. – Remember that this excuse reduces the value of your relationship and humiliates the person you love. If you really don’t like to do something, find a way out of it. If that’s not possible, think about whether you really need the relationship. Prolonged suffering and sacrifice is an indicator of an unhealthy relationship.
16. “My partner (friend, family member) makes me show my worst qualities.” Really? You’re gonna blame it on somebody else? In fact, you and only you are responsible for your attitude and your actions. Don’t use your relationship as an excuse for your weakness or any of your bad qualities. The positive attitude is, “It’s my own fault for showing my worst qualities. – Admit your guilt. You are responsible for your own behavior. No one can awaken something bad in you unless you let it happen. Choose another way.
17. “Failures haunt me.” That’s what Emerson said aptly: “Small people believe in luck. “Strong people believe in cause and effect. Would you prefer to be small or strong? Positive attitude: “I will create my own luck.” – Be a creator of your own destiny. Yes, you may not be lucky in something, but do not use them as an excuse for not wanting to try something new and not being able to stand up to failure. Luck is something that comes about after a while through action and perseverance. So get up and start acting, regardless of how Lady Luck treats you now.
18. “I’m waiting for the right time” or “I’m still not ready.” These two excuses come from the same reasons: fear of starting, inertia, fear of failure. Of course, the right time is great, but don’t count on it. If you wait for it, you can wait a lifetime. Planning and knowledge acquisition are important, but if plans and knowledge are left in your head without being used, it will bring nothing good. The positive attitude is, “I’m ready now and will always be ready.” – Just start, then everything will be back to normal. Also, starting is a great way to get to the right place at the right time, and it can be the right moment. Passive waiting will not give you the information you need to know what will and will not work. You need to start, and then count on every step.
19. “Everything has been done before me… I won’t create anything original, so it’s not worth trying.” Indeed, there’s almost nothing, with a few exceptions, that you could do so that it’s not done before you. But you can take something banal and breathe in your personality and uniqueness, thus creating something completely new. Do you want to do this? A positive attitude: “With my original vision I can create something valuable. Just be yourself and put your soul into what you do, do not think about anything else. By the way, this is one of the most serious excuses that held me back when I wanted to create afineparent.com to describe my efforts to become a better mom. There are already many parent sites, do I need another one? But I am engaged in self-development, and I noticed that a few sites are dedicated to the self-development of parents. And that’s what I’d like to read about, so I decided to do it. And what would you think? The site is not yet in the first lines of search, but almost 500 parents have already signed up! It says that you should choose something that matters to you, put your soul into it, and it will definitely work!
20. “I’m a loser.” If someone assures you that they’ve never failed, it’s either the luckiest person on earth, or they lead a risk-free life without doing anything outstanding or fruitful. And since no one can be lucky all the time, it’s very likely the latter is true. Would you like to be a man who gives up his life? The positive attitude is, “I’m ready to learn from my failures as I go along.” – There’s nothing wrong with failure. Don’t be afraid of her. You already overcame that fear when you got to work. And you’re gonna let a few bad luck cross that off? Yes, it’s scary to start over, but it’s the way life goes – attempt and error, change and step forward.
21. “I’m scared.” Congratulations! You’re just a perfectly normal person. To experience fear is a harsh life reality. Even the bravest people in the world are scared. But what sets brave men apart from cowards is that they don’t turn their fear into an excuse. The positive attitude is, “What I’m afraid means I’m human.” – Accept as truth the fact that as long as you live a full life, fear will always be your companion, protecting you from dangerous mistakes. But you must make it clear to your fear that you will not let your mind take hold of the warnings it sends. Instead, you will assess the situation and take calculated risks to step forward.
22. “I can never make it perfect, so why try?” Perfect, meticulous work has its advantages. But on the other hand, if perfection doesn’t let you finish or even start something, it’s a serious reason to think. Too much good can play a bad joke on you. Positive attitude: “The perfect enemy of the good.” – Move your perfectionist attitude from result to process. Start and set yourself a clear timeline when everyone should see the result of your work. Direct your perfectionist tendencies toward doing what is right instead of doing it perfectly.
23. “I’ll never be as good as (someone else), so why worry about that?” How do you know that? Really, it doesn’t matter how good this someone else is, how do you know that if you haven’t tried? And why do you compare your results with someone else? Why not focus on breaking your own records? Positive attitude: “I only compete with myself.” – Stop comparing yourself to others. The only comparison that makes sense is whether you were better today than yesterday. Nothing else is worth thinking about.
24. “If you don’t have the support of your loved ones, you can thank your lucky star, because you have a great opportunity to quietly test your ideas (and perhaps fail) in front of a small audience that you can trust. Will you take this opportunity or will you use it to justify your fears? A positive attitude: “How can I put them on my side?” – Think of it as a challenge to you personally. What can you do to persuade your parents (spouse, children)? Listen to every word of protest, think about it, make changes and move on. Get the most out of this opportunity.
25. “I can’t.” In Henry Ford’s words, “You’re equally right when you think you can and when you think you can’t.” And that’s good. It means you’re confident in yourself. The positive attitude is, “I can and I’m starting right now.” – Remember, it’s all in our brains. If Helen Keller, Mahatma Gandhi, Beethoven, Thomas Edison, Mother Teresa, Michael Phelps and countless other characters in the history course could do it, why can’t you? Answer: you can, if you want to make an effort and take time to overcome the barriers that stand before you. And now what? So, you’ve read the whole list, probably according to the nod while reading and maybe slammed yourself on your forehead several times. And now what? You already know that the best way to succeed is to start, take a little step right now. Go ahead, find the excuse that’s keeping you from doing it, and put it aside RIGHT NOW.