Have you repeatedly found yourself in a situation where you did not find something to say when you even wanted to support the conversation? Do you always remain silent, sitting humbly in a corner, not trying to express your opinion or attitude to a particular issue?
There is nothing shameful about it, unfortunately, oratorical skills do not get in our heads from birth, no, of course, someone is lucky, but it happens quite rarely, and, basically, the speech system should be developed and actively trained.
Probably, you have repeatedly been ashamed to take part in a general conversation, because there are already their own factories and funny people who will always pick up an appropriate joke, and an interesting story will tell, and on any “fake” will always find a creative answer. And how do they do it?
No, of course, there is no lack of natural quality, but we must not forget: such a person does not know what is a sense of embarrassment and insecurity, and hence the positive results.
Of course, it is not necessary to become the center of attention in a huge company, but sometimes shyness plays an evil joke even in private with a friend or girlfriend – to express their own thoughts from the first time is not possible, and the right words, as the angrily dissolved in space.
And what to say about new acquaintances, because here and you get lost, to maintain communication with a stranger even harder. The ability to keep silent – it is, of course, good, but not when because of this peculiarity of his own character have to lose the opportunity to meet interesting people.
Where do I start?
How can a conversation be maintained if you are overwhelmed with complexes and excitement that you will not succeed? In order to gain some self-confidence, you need to prepare in advance and practice, so to speak, to establish your own voice system.
There is one good exercise for this: take any book and choose one paragraph each day. Read it and try to express the general meaning of what you have read in one sentence. Formulate a thought loud and clear, without stuttering or inaudible words parasites.
It is necessary to do such a simple exercise every day, you can even several times until you come to positive results: the sentence is formed quickly and clearly, without stuttering.
Strive to ensure that the process of thought formation does not last more than 3-4 seconds, so that the next time during the conversation you think about a successful idea, you can quickly formulate it and put it on public display. If this does not happen, you will again begin to mumble and confusedly enumerate all that has accumulated in your head, losing the general sense and actual moment.
It is not in vain to say that a good spoon for lunch, and a successful phrase can support the conversation only at a certain point. Also do not forget that reading books – another good source not only of wisdom, but also a beautiful speech, filled and, importantly, rich in interesting turns. While reading, we write out your favorite phrases, words and sentences so that you can use them later during the conversation.
Social networks and virtual communication
Sometimes, to overcome embarrassment, helps to communicate in the virtual world, now this is a good help all kinds of social networks, chat rooms and forums on the Internet.
Talk there, give advice, do not hesitate to ask questions, write reviews and share impressions with other people of the resource, but do not dwell on it, remember that this is just a training before you go to the “big world”.
We’re preparing a list of topics in advance
If you have an important meeting or a date, for example, and you are very worried that you will not be able to support an interesting conversation, then prepare in advance: write down or just make a list of topics and questions that you think will be interesting to both of you.
With such a little help, you will not be afraid of inconvenient pauses in conversation, because there is always something to fill them. Try to choose questions that will not require a simple yes or no answer. For example, don’t ask “do you do music?”, or better yet ask “what music styles do you prefer? Why?”
If you feel that a person is not very talkative, then after each short sentence you can insert something like “E?”, “Why?” and so on, so that the interlocutor has to develop the topic and the conversation starts.
Selecting topics for communication, it is necessary to proceed from the preferences of the interlocutor, for example, girls are much more interesting to talk about travel, fashionable novelties, books and films, music, pets and relatives.
But it is easier for guys to relax, talking about fishing, computer games, modern gadgets, sports or again music, movies and so on.
A good companion – for the weight of gold!
If you feel that you do not have a good command of the main theme, then perhaps it makes sense to support the conversation, just listening carefully to your opponent. However, you also need to be able to listen, for this the interlocutor should see that you are really interested in the conversation: use the power of the magic nodding your head, which confirms your agreement, and support the main idea of the conversation.
Do not forget to ask related questions in time, showing your interest in the conversation, express emotionally your opinion and, of course, do not interrupt your interlocutor in the middle of the thought. It is enough to show the narrator your sincere interest in his story, as a result, he will think that he has never met a more interesting interlocutor!
Feel free to ask questions or let your opponent know if he or she doesn’t know the topic he or she wants to discuss. It doesn’t look humiliating or stupid in any way, on the contrary, there will be a new topic for conversation where you can fill in your gaps.
Do not try to criticize the person, especially if you are unfamiliar, it is not the best way to support the conversation. The best option is to communicate on pleasant topics that result in positive and kind emotions, subsequently associated with the person.
In a large team is not necessary to dance a rooster, for this there are their own plants, enough to listen carefully and in time to insert their comments on the topic under discussion.
Try to avoid long and incoherent phrases, a large number of words parasites, remember that your main weapon in maintaining any conversation – a smile, understanding the question and the desire to communicate. But you can find topics for conversations anywhere – from the space around you, to recent events in the world.