We have all become accustomed to the expression “women’s happiness.
Everyone knows what it is and what it is eaten with.
But what is a man’s happiness?
What do men need to fully enjoy their lives?
Thinking, reasoning, sharing.
Osintseva Anastasia Andreyevna
I think it all depends on the level of development of Man’s personality.
A primitive man may not even think about the category of happiness! A simple (unpretentious) man needs borscht on the table, some comfort in the house, clean clothes, sex in one of his favorite positions, beer at dinner, a wife and children – everything like the others.
A smart and unconventional man needs a wealth of impressions, self-development and a career to be happy. But to find his happiness, a real Man looks for a real Woman, by the side of whom he has an opportunity to become a successful Person, capable of self-actualization in all aspects and satisfied with life in its basic manifestations.
A True Man (Creator) does not lie alone on the couch behind the TV, he makes his family members happy, ennobles the environment and the world around him!
Ekaterina Vladimirovna Tarasova
Very interesting questions.
But what is a man’s happiness? What do men need to fully enjoy their lives?
Happiness, I think, is different for everyone. Yes, men are not like women, they are a little different. But, nevertheless, they are human and they have the right to be happy, just like women.
Men’s psychology is different. I think it’s important for men to be loved, respected, valued, approved and allowed to be themselves. They, too, are able to feel warmth and caring towards them, and that’s important.
Well, everyone’s happiness is different, and the details and everyone’s ideas of happiness are better asked of a particular man.
Kanapieva Kalamkas Kairgeldinovna
It seems to me that male happiness is the same as female happiness.
And I come to this opinion from my own definition of happiness. It’s not really my definition, but it works for me:
Happiness is doing what you want to do.
My husband is happy to do some work around the house, if he has planned it for himself, picked it up, and started doing it. And the same work he does with a “martyr” face if I insist that it must be done now and urgently.
With how much love he digs the earth in search of worms when he’s about to go fishing! After all, he is in anticipation of his favorite activity! There it is, happiness – digging the earth with a shovel!
And so on and on and on.
So, in my opinion, male happiness is no different from the happiness of a woman who is lovingly preparing dinner for her family.
And such equality is beautiful!
Kasparova Ksenia Vladimirovna
Since time immemorial, it has been believed that the most important thing for a man is work. In ancient times he hunted mammoths, nowadays he makes deals, fixes cars, builds houses. It doesn’t matter what he does! I think that the main component of a man’s happiness was and still is – the realization in his own business.
If a man has found a “legitimate” way to express his aggressive impulses, to reclaim his territory, to defeat his opponent, then he becomes a doer, a conqueror and feels happy.
These are such times that male and female roles are increasingly confused. Boys these days are more and more surrounded by dominant women, since kindergarten they are forced to obey and submit to numerous educators, nannies, teachers… Male teachers are rare these days…
I am convinced that only a man can raise a real man. If a man identifies himself with a female figure, it is very difficult for him to find himself in this world. It is difficult to choose your own business, it is difficult and scary to bear responsibility, to take risks, to take a blow, to lose and not to give up…
The topic of our round table is “male happiness. And no man can be happy alone. All these male conquests are not just for themselves, they are first and foremost for “her”!
Men are just as much in need of intimacy as women are in need of creating a family. Here are 4 important needs whose satisfaction makes a man happy in a relationship:
Sexual satisfaction is very important to men in a relationship with their mate! It is often difficult for men to understand their wives’ need for long, intimate conversations. It is not easy for a man to share his emotions, he prefers to express them in an active, effective form. But in a happy relationship it is possible to combine these two needs of a man and a woman in harmony. If a man expresses enough affection and love to his partner, does not deny her a heart-to-heart talk, sex life becomes frequent and enjoyable for both.
It is important to a man that his partner or spouse be physically attractive to him. Hence the popular saying that a man “loves” with his eyes! Men are so built that it is difficult for them to appreciate their partners only for their inner qualities. Appearance matters!
A man really needs the admiration of his partner! He achieves successes outside the relationship, also so that “she” notices and appreciates his achievements! Admiration of the spouse becomes a huge stimulating factor. It encourages a man to new successes, as well as make him able to cope with the responsibility that rests on his shoulders.
It is important to a man when his beloved shares with him his hobbies and recreation! When she can go fishing with him or cheer on his favorite team. Oddly enough, the companionship of joint entertainment is almost as important to a man as a sexual relationship!
Sergey Vladimirovich Dryomov
If not about success, but about happiness, then etymologically to be happy is to be part of something. And here any unambiguous answer makes no sense.
It depends on how one or another man thinks and feels. And that depends on age physically and psychologically. What at 20 is a source of pride, at 40 is fatiguing, and at 60 becomes a psychological ugliness.
Money and social success are also irrelevant to happiness. You can have average income and be happy, you can be very rich and commit suicide.
Of course, the typology of men also matters. For example, the division of men into warriors, poets, scientists, and merchants. It is clear that everyone has his own happiness. Although typologies are also only schemes that are convenient for perception.
A man’s happiness is largely about conformity to his age and social status. Nothing has changed in this respect over the last few thousand years, and one has to define and determine who I am (or who He, my man) – a young man, a hero, a father, a wise man. A young man should not be expected to be courageous, and a hero should not be expected to be devoted to one woman. A wonderful illustration of this is the movie Troy, where Patroclus, Achilles and Hector represent the three stages of a man’s evolution: the young man, the hero and the father.
If we take in the dynamics of personal development, we can also be guided by the image of the inner woman (the soul – the Anima) that a man carries within himself. Along with his masculine qualities (purposefulness, persistence, endurance, responsibility), a man is able to integrate feminine traits (softness, attentiveness, tolerance, flexibility). The image of the inner woman in a man’s psyche changes with age – from a seductive sexual whore (a succubus from dreams) to Sophia as inner wisdom. It’s not okay when a mature man in his 60s still dreams about sexy young girls.
A man’s happiness depends a lot on whether he has separated from his mother or has become a hostage to a negative maternal complex that makes him unable to create a strong trusting relationship with another woman. If a man is 30-35, and he’s still a hero lover or single shy, it’s about his mother. Happiness in intimacy with his mother at this age is highly questionable.
In general, the question is multifaceted, and as a psychotherapist suggest that you look for your happiness in the current difficulties – “there would be no happiness, but unhappiness has helped.
Yury Alekseyevich Bryzgalov
Dear women, thank you for your answers about how you understand male happiness.
I will try to answer this question both as a man and as a specialist-psychologist, that is, I will share my personal feelings and, so to say, theoretical reasoning…
For me this notion is, first of all, connected to my work, the work I once chose (quite a few years ago), I work as a doctor, and I like this work. To the best of my ability, I have improved my knowledge, skills, it seems that I have achieved certain successes… But the satisfaction would not be complete if I did not have my own family…
I, for example, like it when I support my wife both morally and financially (without bragging, it’s really true, I feel satisfaction inside when I see that she is grateful to me and feels protected with me).
As for sex, yes, it has to be too, and if it’s not enough, then something seems to be missing in life, well, like eating food that’s not very good, that is, life becomes boring…
Children and grandchildren are also necessary for life, well, it’s like everyone else… After all, it is necessary, after all, to pass one’s experience of life, accumulated knowledge, how could it be without it…
As to purely male force, physical, so to say, I have a little deficiency in it, and from this side I am not quite satisfied, but this is correctable…
And also, to be happy, it seems to me, it is necessary to have huge patience and to aspire to reach the purpose (everyone can have the purpose) in any way to you…
To make a long story short, how I see a man’s happiness, it is as follows:
The main thing that your family and friends believe in you, love you, feel protected with you, know that you are reliable and will not let you down under any circumstances.
…And if you look back on your past life, it seems to me that the more people you love, and the more people love you, the happier you are.
In connection with the topic we are discussing, I am reminded of the story of my Teacher of Psychology (he worked in a colony among prisoners as an expert psychologist for more than a quarter of a century) about what criminals think and feel before they die. So, the teacher told us (and I think he had good reasons for this) that a criminal before death tries to recall, to remember what good things he has done in his life, what good deed, deed he has done in his life…
When a person before the line, any person, recalls only good deeds and actions, he hopes that after his death at least someone will remember him with a good feeling…
Zemtsova Olga Anatolievna
I think that men’s happiness is similar to women’s happiness – a close relationship in which it is possible to be yourself, the meaning of life – fulfillment. Maybe the only difference is that a woman is more inclined to “give back” and a man is more inclined to “own. And in this, too, there is a sense of “now”-happiness.
Of course, everyone’s notion of male happiness will be different. In addition to the above, I would like to talk about confession.
What is acceptance?
Confession is what drives a man in this world. Every man can do wonders, but not everyone does. You can also say that not everyone can do it, but you can also say that men may not have enough incentive to do a miracle.
A stimulus is an irritant that can cause a man to take action, but action can already work wonders! It’s no secret that almost all feats in ancient times and now for the sake of women.
Now let’s talk about women
Women’s wisdom has been able to control men’s minds for centuries. Every woman knows how to get results from her man, but not every woman knows that he always expects a reward for it. Sometimes women don’t know this, sometimes they pretend not to know.
Of course, now women can start arguing with me that:
– How is it that I give him everything and he gives me everything?
This is where I stick to the rule of the golden mean. A woman’s wisdom includes not only cunning and love, but also the ability to teach her partner. Therefore, teaching and giving – you will get what you want!
And in conclusion, I want to thank everyone and wish women to understand, hear and listen to their men, accept and recognize their talents more often!!!
Evgeny Viktorovich Chvalun
The feeling of happiness does not differ between men and women. But men and women complement each other in different ways. Apparently, this complement is the essence of today’s discussion.
A man is ready to change the world, only there has to be an incentive. He does it ultimately for the woman, no matter how veiled the modern formulations of motives may be. There must be a woman for whom he can “get a star,” otherwise changing the world is pointless. If a woman was able to become such an incentive, then the man will realize himself and improve reality.
The famous short story by O. It shows something similar in the form of a grotesque.
To become such a stimulus, a woman must touch and awaken in a man the strings of the soul responsible for this. It is not for nothing that they say: behind every successful man there is a successful woman. Not everyone succeeds. It seems to me that this is the main thing from which many components of the male welfare: children, material wealth.
But it is still worth separating the self-transcendence and self-realization. Simply put, a man must understand his potential and use it in his life. There must be something that he can do and do it well. Then self-confidence grows, and difficulties are not frightening.
Without these components, in my opinion, it is difficult for a man to feel the fullness of life, “not to be excruciatingly painful”…
Irina Nikolaevna Avdeeva
Men’s happiness. What is it like?
I am a woman and a wife. What can I say about a man’s happiness? I can only pinpoint the moments in which I see my husband’s happy eyes. What are those moments?
When I trust a man – a text coming in late is a bank;
when I trust him – there are women among his friends;
when I inspire him – my husband enjoys updating his closet, looking beautiful;
I rejoice together with him – we always celebrate his victories, sometimes just with tea;
tell him compliments – the most frequent one; he is the best man on earth;
help him if he is sick;
always understand if he wants to be alone;
I love him and tell him so every day;
When I thank him for everything he does every day;
when I meet him and see him off, even if he’s out shopping;
if he goes to bed early, I make sure to hug him as I take him to bed;
if we do something together;
my husband is happy when I share my professional successes with him;
I see happy eyes when he takes care of me;
he is happy when I am happy.
Elena Aleksandrovna Palchikova
Men’s happiness, just like women’s happiness, is multifaceted and multifaceted.
The experience of communicating with the strong sex, as well as consulting work with it, allowed me to say that a man is happy when he feels needed, significant and loved.
And this largely depends on us, dear women: mothers, daughters, wives. After all, it is we who create that external comfort and coziness, which helps our knights to restore their strength. We warm their hearts with our warmth when they are deadly tired, making our world better and more comfortable.
A man can build a home, a woman can breathe into it, and together they can be happy. Yes, each in his own way, but exactly happy, living in love, giving love. Happiness to all of us, men and women!
Bekezhanova Botagoz Iskrakyzy
Men’s happiness differs from women’s happiness in that for a man to climb two mountains simultaneously – to create a family and to achieve career growth – is quite feasible.
Each man chooses his own priority:
Whether he builds his career first and then builds his family,
Or vice versa he creates a family and it becomes his main motivation to achieve a better position – financial or career.
Also Man’s Happiness is in preservation of men’s hobbies, such as meeting with friends, hunting, men’s sports and, of course, the feeling of Freedom in all his endeavors.
Man’s happiness is in his reliable rear – in his family, which supports him and in every way lets him know that he is the best, the strongest and the Beloved one for his children and his wife, girlfriend, girlfriend.
Manly Happiness is when a boy has his father, grandfather, uncle and brother by his side. Then that companionship gives him the foundation on which he can build later on. It is very important for any man to have a good example of the manifestation of masculine traits – and communication in male society, and communication with women, and the ability to make decisions in difficult situations and take responsibility for himself and his children.
Male Happiness can also be defined through the well-known statement –
He must build a home (create a family);
raise a son (continuation of himself in children);
and plant a tree (realize himself as a Person).
My oldest son-in-law once told me, “Everything I do and everything I accomplish, I do for my wife and children. If I didn’t have them, I’d just change my car to a different model every year, and that would be enough for me.”
I think Men’s Happiness is necessarily next to Women’s Happiness, and only in this Duality can it exist.
Yes… it is not easy for a woman to think about a man’s happiness. Undoubtedly, our women’s ideas of happiness do not coincide with men’s ideas of happiness.
A woman is important emotional connections, relationships. If she has harmony in this area, it is a very important guarantee of her happiness. There is a song about this not for nothing – “Women’s happiness – if only there were a sweetheart near …”.
But it is a little different with men. So as not to be unfounded, I asked my male friends a question about men’s happiness – thanks to the organizers of the roundtable :))), with your help there was an opportunity to better understand them.
And this is what came out. Of the five men who took part in the survey, three responded that for them, happiness – when it works, when the result. And in third and third place, four of them put understanding from those closest to them.
How can one argue with that? It is really so, because of its deep focus on achievement, on results – after all, civilization develops thanks to men – most of them, those who have retained their masculinity, it is very important to have a goal, to believe in it, to achieve it and to receive recognition. This is in the first place. That’s how they fulfill their most important task in life.
But, of course, nobody cancelled health, stability and other eternal human values. My respondents talked about this too. :)))
Evgeny Gennadyevich Arshinov
A man’s happiness is children. Their appearance in the world fills a man’s life with meaning, through the needs that arise in the process of birth and maturation of children, a man’s character is tempered.
Not all men are ready to move mountains for a clean shirt, a cozy house, a car – one room to live in and some change for beer (whatever) will suffice, but for the sake of children they are ready to do anything. Through the care of children, they realize their masculine potential.
Unfortunately, not all men are able and able to feel what a man’s happiness really is. But there are those who are fully realized – fathers of many children, the lucky ones, at an older age they can only be envied. And it’s not about women or material wealth…
Markov Ilya Anatolievich
I decided to share my own personal experience and my thoughts as a psychologist. I don’t think there is a universal recipe for anyone’s happiness. In my opinion, any pursuit of happiness is destructive to a person in itself; happiness is a kind of concomitant sense of how we live our lives. Whether or not we embody what is in us, whether or not we are in harmony with those around us and with ourselves.
If a man feels his inner energy, hears his “call” telling him what to embody, finds means adequate to reality and relationships – then he most fully embodies his potency (or divine intention), and therefore is able to feel happiness.
Of course, on such a difficult path we cannot expect happiness at every point; this path is filled with different experiences, including suffering and struggle, but there is wholeness in it. A sense of wholeness makes us belong to something greater than ourselves, and therefore makes us complicit and happy.
Yulia Alexandrovna Trofimova
I think that happiness is such a personal, individual concept for everyone, and therefore it is difficult to define it by gender. After all, even the stable content of the expression “female happiness” is not at all equally relevant to all women!
So it is with “male” happiness. Men are different. But to generalize, I would say that for the majority of men it is primarily important to realize themselves, to feel strong, “established”, including in the material sense. When masculinity is suppressed by strong women (often mothers or wives), men are rarely able to feel happy.
Family and children are also part of a man’s happiness. Family – as a reliable rear, children – as the continuation of the family, the continuation of his, the man-father, the family name, the trace and memory of what he was on this Earth and continues in the children. This, perhaps, is the essential difference from “female” happiness. A woman rarely looks at children as her continuation, she is more concerned about the present than the future.
And the mutual feeling when a man is believed in, and he feels it. When he knows he’s free, no one is holding him back by manipulation around him, and he chooses to be with that woman.
That’s probably how it is. And everything else would hardly matter if the first, second, and third didn’t happen.
But I’m not a man, I can only speculate. 🙂
Happiness in the perception of each person has its own outlines and wishes. And I think it is not so important whether it is a man or a woman, what is more important is the person himself and his idea of happiness, which he will strive for with all his soul.
For some people happiness is a house full of people and a job which they love, for others it is achievements and success, for others it is an opportunity to develop and move forward. Each person’s happiness will have its own “flavor”.
But for everyone happiness is an internal state, which to a greater extent depends not on external factors, but on internal ones – your own worldview, the ability to find a reason for joy and happiness in any situation, the feeling of life, when every sphere of life (family, friends, development, professional realization) is functioning.
The question, “Does this make me happy?” helps keep both Women and Men on course for their own happiness!
Smelova (Kuzova) Natalya Vladimirovna
Man and woman are so similar and so different… He, as many people already know, is “from Mars,” she is “from Venus. But they have something in common. Including the desire for an inner sense of happiness.
“In the fact that man and woman are united as one, lies the great wisdom of Nature.” This thought, by the way, is found in many philosophers and spiritual fathers. For example, Vasily Irzabekov in his book “The Mystery of the Russian Word” gives a curious interpretation of the word “sex”. “Sex is half of a man,” Anton Makarskikh shares his reasoning for a happy family life. He is a happy spouse (relationship of 12 years) and father. His reasoning is not devoid of meaning.
Usually I tell women and girls during consultations, that only having formed the inner man-woman union on the psychological level, the woman becomes ready, mature enough internally for marriage and the “external” marriage, the conjugal union.
A man’s feeling of happiness from personal self-realization in the society, from marital relations with the other half also has stages of formation. In the initiation approach he has to pass the stages from Protector to Creator and connect with his feminine (female) part, cultivating and nurturing his masculinity.
So simple and complex at the same time is this path to a happy marriage with his “inner” woman. But it allows him to move from simpler (sometimes self-destructive) forms of making himself happy, like “sex, drugs and rock and roll” to more meaningful ones. In marriage a man becomes capable of experiencing a new sense of happiness, acquiring new meanings and goals in life, a sense of trust and mutual understanding, the happiness of giving his family material well-being and prosperity, conquering ever new social heights.
Komarova Vera Leonidovna
It seems to me that both female and male happiness are individual and unique, as well as subjective… Everyone’s happiness is different!
The esteemed Leo Tolstoy wrote: “All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. If you start “digging” into every “happiness” (whether male or female) – you can find, for example, what someone would call happiness, and for someone who seems happy to another, in fact, only wearing a mask of “I-happy!” and in fact is in severe mental and/or physical discomfort…
Everyone knows about their happiness. Or feels it. Or happy(?) as… was customary in his parental family. Or not happy.
You can talk, read and listen about men’s (as well as women’s) happiness for a long time…
Just be happy! To feel this beautiful feeling as often as possible!
Anton Mikhailovich Nesvitsky
We have all become accustomed to the expression “women’s happiness. Everyone knows what it is and what it is eaten with.
I doubt that all women would agree with it. Because a woman’s happiness is supposed to be a family, children, a beloved man by her side, and a house full of food. But who’s to say that a career isn’t important to a woman? Or a life’s work? Something in which she can express herself? Or a spiritual quest? And sometimes children and home are pushed aside for the sake of those goals… At least at certain times in life.
On the other hand, it’s not common for a man to be reduced to “children and home. But does not he need warmth, support, at least – partnership, affection, closeness? He does. And not just business alone, career and spiritual quests man alive.
Happiness is self-fulfillment, the creation of opportunities to maximize their talents, to enjoy activities (any – and work, and hobbies, and the birth of children or building a house, and travel, and spiritual quests), happiness is an opportunity to change, revise values, rearrange priorities …
Then how can we divide happiness into male and female, and even more so, how can we pin this label on the whole life? In one period of life, happiness is one thing; in another period, it’s something else entirely. So I don’t know what male happiness is for everyone. I only know what it is for me at the moment.
And it consists of the same things I have listed – to do the things I love, to realize my talents, to see and explore the world, to be in contact with nature, to be in a family, to enjoy warmth and closeness, understanding and unity.