For those who like to sleep in and don’t really like their jobs, we have a great solution: sleep right at work. It’s not as complicated and dangerous as it might seem, and we’ll teach you all the ins and outs of mastering the art of daytime napping in the office.
Wednesday is a little Friday. So it’s quite possible that you’re going to be sitting up at the bar or visiting or something today. So what? Half of the week is over – that’s something to celebrate. But here’s the problem. Tomorrow it’s back to work. Oh, well, that’s okay, here at work and get some sleep, we’ll teach you. Who says it’s a bad thing? Not bad at all, even useful. Many progressive companies are already allowing their employees to sleep right on the job. If you’re not one of them – that’s okay, we’ll teach you not to deny yourself anything and enjoy quality and healthy sleep in the office.
This is probably the easiest way to sleep at work. So, you open up some document that’s heavily filled with text and numbers, ideally an intricate Excel spreadsheet. Also, scatter a lot of paperwork around you. That’s it, the preparations are done. Now turn away from your colleagues, prop your head up and sleep well. While you are dreaming about a huge salary, your colleagues think that you are seriously confused and cannot find a handle on this complicated document, unfolding before your eyes.
Remember we told you about the bicycle catchers in Holland? But if you start catching bicycles at work, it might not turn out well: you might be suspected of using some illegal substances or of banal schizophrenia. Neither of these will help your career, so let’s leave the bicycles behind – you’ll be catching pens. To begin, turn off the keyboard and comfortably place your head on it, place a pen on the floor, and place your hand next to it. Now you can go straight into the arms of Morpheus, and from the side it will seem that you’re just trying to reach for an object lying on the floor.
If you have carpet in your office, you will definitely like this method. You are required to simply crawl under the desk and fall asleep there quietly. It will look like you, not getting through to the IT department (or not finding one at all in your company) decided to fix the problem yourself. For more convincing you can put your head on the system unit. If you are not lucky with the carpeting buy a fuzzy mat.
Sleeping in comfort
If you have your own office, you can sleep with the same comfort as at home. Just ask your boss to buy a sofa in your office (for clients, of course). Or better yet, tell him that you yourself are willing to take care of all the issues (except financial) to resolve this issue. So you can choose the most comfortable sofa for sleeping. But still try to find one that will look more or less appropriate for the office. Once the couch is delivered to you – the issue is solved, just lock up and sleep soundly!
In case something goes wrong and you do get caught, we have a few fail-safe excuses that will help you justify yourself to your boss.
-It wasn’t my fault the coffee machine broke.
-The blood donor’s office told me this might happen.
-It’s a 15-minute nap to improve work efficiency. They taught me that at the time-management seminar you sent me to last week.
-Why the hell did you interrupt me? I was thinking about ways for our company to get out of the crisis! And I was actually close to reaching my goal, and here you are!
-I blacked out, it happens to me after you cut our salaries and canceled free lunches…
As promised, we have prepared you for a comfortable sleep in the workplace. For the rest of the day, you can practice. Just don’t forget to wake up and go home in the evening.