To interact effectively with society, you need to be able to negotiate with people, to find compromises. However, the search for solutions should not turn into an attempt to please everyone.
This can cause your influence to diminish and your career growth to stall. In today’s article, we’re going to tell you what ten signs are indicative of you being too agreeable to those around you.
- Agreeing while internally disagreeing
This is a characteristic of people who tend to please others. You agree with the opinion of colleagues and partners during work issues and negotiations, but you do not agree in your heart. Of course, there are situations in which it is ethically acceptable to remain silent, especially in matters of religion and politics. Constant acquiescence to internal protest should be a cause for caution.
Before making a decision, ask yourself a few questions:
Does it conflict with your interests and values?
Will it do you more good or harm?
Will the decision undo your efforts and the work you have done?
First of all, listen to yourself and don’t build up internal dissent.
- You often apologize
It is perfectly normal and right to apologize if you have been wronged. But you shouldn’t ask for forgiveness to make others feel comfortable or to smooth over an awkward situation.
You don’t need to apologize if it’s not your fault. At work, act like a professional: describe the problem and offer a solution.
- It is important for you to have your work checked by your colleagues
Of course, you ask to check your work out of good motives–to get support, approval, and feedback. But instead you can reduce the value of your work, authority, and confidence in your own abilities.
You should try to check your work yourself. You can use suitable programs and applications for this, carefully and repeatedly check the validity of the information, the correctness of figures and dates. It is important to strengthen faith in your own strength and not to rely on the constant help of others.
- Dependence on the emotions of other people
Pleasing people depend on the emotions of those around them. You are disturbed and can even be thrown off balance by the negative mood of colleagues, bosses. Of course, you can empathize with others, but it is important to keep your own mental balance. Learn to recognize when people need support and when it is better not to touch them.
- It’s awkward to accept praise
You feel uncomfortable being praised for your merits. But praise should be accepted with dignity, because you deserve it, your work was highly appreciated. There is no need to push it away and underestimate your merits.
- Responsibility for other people’s mistakes
You take the blame for the other person just to make the discussion stop. Of course, it is very likely to stop, and others will be relieved. But will it make you feel better in the future? After all, a similar situation could happen again, and you could become a scapegoat. In addition, it is a manifestation of weak character, which is not good for your career and credibility.
- Imitating colleagues
Of course, it is important to be part of the team and the corporate spirit. But there is no need to imitate colleagues, especially outside of work. Such behavior looks unnatural and is unlikely to please family and friends.
- You always agree
Another sign of compliant behavior is being unreliable. You take on tasks that should be done by colleagues. Don’t let others take on their responsibilities and tasks for you. If you don’t learn to say no, you’ll start working for at least two people without a raise.
- Wanting everyone to like you
Have you ever noticed that you have a good relationship with some colleagues and at least a neutral or outright negative one with others. This is a common situation for companies, especially large ones. Everyone is different, and the relationship with them is different, too.
Don’t try to please everyone. If you don’t have a good relationship with someone, minimize your communication with that person as much as possible. You come to the office primarily to work, not to build relationships so everyone can like you.
- You avoid conflict situations at all costs
You avoid conflict at all costs. For example, you don’t intervene when a colleague is undeservedly reprimanded. In such a situation, it is better not to stay on the sidelines, but to help resolve the situation.
The motives of people who want to please everyone are good. They are peaceful and do not like tense situations, much less conflicts. However, their own aspirations, interests and values are relegated to the background in attempts to make everyone feel good.
It is important to live in harmony with oneself, not to indulge society in everything and be able to say “No” if consent is contrary to wishes.