What are men afraid of when they’re 20, 30, 40?

It is generally accepted that age-related fears only target women. And in vain: men are just as vulnerable, if not more so than we are, because they are often silent about what they care about. Here are some of the “age-related” male fears that can spoil your relationship.


Typically, men’s fears are for some reason considered to be solely related to sexual problems. Their classic trio is penis size, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. But these nightmares can reach a man at any age, and deal with them still better at a sexologist’s appointment. Normal “age” fear – fear of aging – can make a man at some point to buy a subscription to the fitness center, go to a nutritionist, beautician or plastic surgeon – and sometimes it manifests itself in the form of what is described by the famous proverb “gray in the beard, the demon in the rib. However, there is one more, purely psychological category of fears, each of which can declare itself in a relationship when the man is 20, 30 or 40 years old. What is interesting is that in any case, he thinks that it is a woman who causes problems…

20 years: “She wants to get married.”

What are men 20, 30, 40 years old afraid of?


What is going on? In principle, you are ready to start choosing a wedding dress – and he carefully avoids even the slightest hints of such topics. Well, of course! After all, if we say “marriage,” we usually mean “responsibility” – for everyday life together, monthly budget, credit for an apartment, etc. … Such responsibility is not easy to decide and take over, if you are a free young man is still quite irresponsible age.


What to do? Just take your time. Perhaps you still need to get to know each other a little better to make an informed decision together. Leave the events to go their own way: in the end, it may turn out that the project “family, children-credit and everything else” you later want to implement a completely different, more mature and self-confident person.

30 years: “Too independent”

What are men 20, 30, 40 years old afraid of?


What is going on? You earn more than he does, or you hold a higher position – and it spoils his mood. Modern women are becoming more active and self-sufficient – but despite this positive fact, many men unconsciously continue to focus on the ideal of the dominant male, who “decides everything” and “does everything himself. They are not convinced even by the argument that it is sometimes more profitable for a couple financially for a woman to realize herself the way she wants it, not the way the traditional family model requires it. Fear of “excessive” female independence makes a man doubt his own value (“Why does she need me at all?”; “Why will she love and respect me?”…) and may come to the fore at the very moment when he decides to form a permanent couple or already lives in marriage.

What to do? Don’t give up your ambitions – it would only be a sacrifice in vain. A man can only cope with this fear if he understands and believes that you are not together because one of you is “weaker” or “stronger” – but simply because you like him, and this is your choice. After all, even a very strong woman needs support from time to time – and he will only be happy if you let him do it.


40 years old: “She has a complicated character.

What’s going on? What’s going on? Unpredictable, bright, eccentric – such features of the female image impress men, otherwise they would be too easy and too boring with you! However, something depends on age: the more adventurous a man’s experience, the more often he wants something more relaxed and risk-free in his relationship.


What to do? You can’t hide a bright character in your pocket: stay as you are – unique and unique! Moreover, the complex personality of those and beautiful, which consists of many and varied features. Sensitivity, attention, softness, tenderness – if you possess these qualities, do not hesitate to show them: such “complexity” can be your great advantage.