Over the past few decades, the issue of cohabitation without official registration of relations has been subject to constant attacks by conservatives. But the world does not stand still, constantly evolving, and relations between a man and a woman have long since ceased to be the same. Civil marriage has long been a common occurrence for young people, and older people have increasingly begun to choose the guest option for themselves. What is it, and is it so good, let’s try to figure it out?
Together, but separately
For starters, of course, it is worth explaining what constitutes a guest or extraterritorial marriage. It is a relationship that is officially registered, but in which the spouses live in different cities or even countries, coming to visit each other in turn for a certain period. They usually meet to spend holidays, vacations, weekends together, but married life is separate.
This form of relationship in most cases is typical for older people, those who have taken place financially and are completely independent. In this case, a guest marriage is a great way to enjoy the company of a loved one, being rid of household problems.
Opponents of such a relationship argue that it is no more than the union of two selfish people, people who do not want to leave their own comfort zone, afraid of duties and responsibilities. Of course, an extraterritorial marriage has its positive and negative sides, and only after understanding the essence of them can we draw conclusions.
Let’s start with the pros:
Lack of routine. Genesis kills feelings, many believe. That’s why people who value them often choose this form of relationship. There is no need to adjust to the partner, to solve common household issues and problems, to keep the economy. Do not irritate your partner’s habits, the constant need to break between home, work and favorite activities. That is, no routine in this case = no problems.
Every meeting is a holiday. Many romantic dates of couples united in a traditional marriage, just 20 minutes after the beginning of the conversation is reduced to talk about the same life and problems. In a guest marriage spouses see not so often, so they manage to get bored with each other, which significantly fuels interest.
Communication on the phone is always pleasant and interesting, and meetings – filled with joy and pleasure. And what about sex.
Perfect perception. Well, we must say that this is a definite advantage. After all, a woman will never see her man untidy, in family pants, clicking the seeds in front of the TV, and the chosen one will never appear before her husband in an old robe and curls. Each time it is beautiful, leisurely chosen outfits, timely cosmetic procedures, enough time and no stress. Isn’t that the ideal husband and wife?
Personal space. Perhaps this feature of guest marriage is especially respected by business people and creative people. Everybody does their business without inconveniencing the other, and does not have to make a choice – family or work / hobby.
But if everything was so cloudless, probably most modern people would choose this form of relationship. But there are only 10% of them in Europe.
What are the disadvantages?
Raising children. Undoubtedly, children are born in extraterritorial marriages, but over time there is a question of their full development. After all, the child needs both parents, and not only on holidays. And in this case, the main responsibilities for his upbringing lie on the mother’s shoulders.
Lack of home comfort. Living in two cities or two countries, and not having a common home, the spouses deprive themselves of this coziness, which is possible only if both make a contribution to it. Joint purchases, repairs, arrangement of their “nest” in this case disappear.
Incomplete support. When people live under the same roof, experiencing together some turmoil and problems, empathize, they certainly understand each other better, and can always count on the support of the other half.
But when everyone in a marriage is for himself, do not hope for cohesion in difficult situations and maximum emotional intimacy. Of course, there are exceptions, and I would like them to become the rule rather than rare cases.
A sense of loneliness. How not to spin, and around will always be happy families with children, having a pleasant time, couples in love, men who meet their loved ones from work to go shopping together. All this to some extent affects the psychological state, and people begin to feel alone. After all, a spouse seems to be, but they are rarely around.
So, to be or not to be? Choosing a comfortable relationship is everyone’s right, and if this is a guest marriage for you, then let him be happy. After all, love is obedient not only all ages, but also any distance and parting.