No, we’re not talking about her having someone before you: specifically looking for the one you’re going to be first, a little out of time. What we’re talking about is, let’s say your girlfriend is friends with your ex. Or maybe she was dating your best friend before you. It’s not a rare situation, but if you’re in it, don’t panic.
Actually, these two options have some known differences, which means that the relationship strategies will be slightly different. But one thing is certain: in both cases, at least three of you in your novel. If you find it spicy (although there is not much spiciness here – below we explain why) – one thing.
But most people in this case, rather, feel embarrassed. One thing is clear: if you really like it, no third parties can stop you. You just have to follow some simple rules. And not only is it trivial not to compare and stuff yourself with comparisons, but it’s definitely true.
- Don’t make up anything for yourself
In principle, a little fiction normally does not interfere with the normal development of relations: if things go well for you, then when and if all your fantasies open, your girlfriend will probably forgive you. Because compared to your real feelings, it’s nothing.
In this case, it won’t work that way. She may know a lot about you from the very beginning – that’s why the stories that you just returned from Syria / climbed up to seven thousand / find a house in London / twice a year you meet with Putin / last year smashed the new Ferrari 488 into junk, and only for this reason now you use the karshering, it’s better to keep it with you (or for the next girl). And there are more pros than cons: first of all, it’s better to be honest by definition, and secondly, if she knows about your shortcomings and sins with you – then you’re really not so bad. Besides, she has no advantage over you: after all, you must have known her well before, that is, her life for you, too, is probably not a secret.
- Romantic triangles – whether ffm or fmm – are only good in short films produced by Nubile studio
In real life, a third is always unnecessary. Does she share the details of your relationship with your ex? You can’t help but swell up your pride and carelessly tell a friend about a luxurious weekend with her? It’s about the trumpet. In the first case, you have to try to explain to her that her, to put it mildly, communication intemperance can cause her to lose both her boyfriend and her friend.
Second, just shut up. And yes, it’s not impossible that you have to choose between love and friendship. Modus operandi “dudes are more important than chicks” has been anachronistic for a long time, but whoever you choose is impossible to predict.
- Always consider the time factor
How long has she been your friend’s girlfriend or friends with your ex? If the answer to the first question is “a few years” and the second question is “from the first grade”, you may have a problem. Maybe having an affair with you is just a trivial revenge on your ex/best friend (this happens too)? This is not a dogma at all, but, unfortunately, the right answer you will learn again only in time. So attention to detail will not hurt – but you can not paranoid in any case.
After all, for her such a relationship is also a certain test. It is quite possible that she broke up with your friend not without offenses, mutual complaints and scandals – and still continues to clarify the relationship with him, say, through messengers and social networks. Treat it with understanding, forget the phrase, “Are you texting him again?” But keep in mind: if this goes on too long, you’re probably a random link in her life chain. Well, preventing her from communicating with her best friend is the limit of foolishness. It’ll get tired. Or it won’t.
- She’s so beautiful and you look so luxurious together?
Congratulations, but take one last piece of advice: Until then, try not to advertise your relationship too much, no matter how you want to brag before the whole world. No, you don’t have to hide either, after all you don’t do anything forbidden. Just do not show in your circle that you are a couple, until you understand exactly: her relationship with her best friend, and yours – with your best friend will not hurt you. Friday parties (because you probably have a lot of other mutual friends) will not get away from you, but to hurt your friend and ex is not necessary. A few months of dating in the mode of “just the two of you” will only bring you closer – but then you are sure to make a real furore in your company.